Bill Clinton, Ronald Reagan, and Richard Nixon are on a boat... The boat springs a leak and starts to sink. Reagan: We need to save the women and children first. Nixon: F#ck the women. Clinton: Do you think we have time?

CELEBRITY COMPUTER VIRUSES Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer. Ronald Reagan virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored. Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte. Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB. Lorena Bobbit virus: Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy. Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus: Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them. Ellen Degeneres virus: Your IBM suddenly clai…

An entire new strain of viruses has just been uncovered and we wanted to get this information to you as soon as possible. Please share this with others immediately!! Monica Lewinsky virus........Sucks all the memory out of your computer. Lorena Bobbit virus..........Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy. Ellen Degeneres virus........Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC. Titanic virus................Makes your whole computer go down. Disney virus.................Everything in the computer go…

George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him. ""I don't know what to do here, "" says the devil. "" You are on my list. . . but I have no room for you."" ""You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do."" ""I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you, I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves. George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed. The devil …