Ellen Degeneres Jokes

I hope it's not too weird the next time I get a haircut and the barber asks, "So, how do you want it?" and I reply, "Like Ellen DeGeneres."

Ryan Seacrest and Ellen Degeneres are the same person. #fact

I think we need to start a boycott of Michael Cera movies... until he plays the role he was born for: Ellen Degeneres.

Ellen Degeneres died today... ... they found her face down in Rosie O'Donnell.

How does Ellen DeGeneres fire an arrow? With her Les-bow.

Did you guys hear that Ellen Degeneres died? Yeah, they found her face down in Ricki Lake.

Women are like pasta They are straight until you get them wet. - Ellen Degeneres

Did you hear that Ellen Degeneres just drowned? They found her face down in Ricki Lake

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Did anyone hear how Ellen Degeneres died? She drowned, they found her face down in Ricki Lake

They found Ellen Degeneres dead today. She was face down in Ricki Lake. Did I do it right this time?

An entire new strain of viruses has just been uncovered and we wanted to get this information to you as soon as possible. Please share this with others immediately!! Monica Lewinsky virus........Sucks all the memory out of your computer. Lorena Bobbit virus..........Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy. Ellen Degeneres virus........Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC. Titanic virus................Makes your whole computer go down. Disney virus.................Everything in the computer go…

Did you hear Ellen DeGeneres drowned? They found her face down in Rikki Lake

Why did Marlin and Dory never date? Dory was played by Ellen Degeneres.