NO EMAIL An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three kids. He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test. The human resources manager tells him, ""You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.35 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that we can get you in the loop. Our system will automatically e-mail you all the forms and advise you when to start and where to report on your first day."" Taken back, the man protests that he is poo…Read more#Microsoft#Marriage#Money#School+2 more0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Microsoft tech support called me last night as a indian, I said ""Sorry your calling Indian Tech Support""#Microsoft#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
About the newest Microsoft patch Microsoft confirms that there's an issue with their most recent patch: it can corrupt Windows installations. A Microsoft developer by the name of Benedict [Last name withheld due to reddit rules] admitted that the code he wrote was faulty and could lead to corruption of some system files. However, Microsoft still recommends downloading the patch, since these cases are rare, and a tool that repairs affected installations will be available by tomorrow, and can easi…Read more#Benedict Last#Microsoft#Technology0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
How does Microsoft count to 10? 1, 2, 3, 95, 98, ME, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.#Microsoft#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Why did Microsoft skip a number when naming their new operating system? Because 7 ate 9.#Microsoft#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Why did Microsoft go straight from Windows 8 to Windows 10? BECAUSE SEVEN ATE NINE *drops mic*#Microsoft#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
[Satire] Windows 10 Update According to insider references, Microsoft should be coming out with a statement in the near future regarding Windows 10. Much like the unravelment of the Donald Trump campaign by Stephen Colbert, Windows 10 is supposedly a hilarious joke that no one seems to catch on to. The statement Microsoft will be releasing will be in acknowledgment of this joke along with plans for an automatic reset to users' previous OSs that will occur in the near future. ""We thought that pe…Read more#Donald Trump#Stephen Colbert#Mary Hayswitt#Microsoft+4 more0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
I remember the first meeting with my boss at my old job, he asked... ""How good at you at Microsoft PowerPoint?"" I said, ""I Excel at it."" He replied, ""Was that a Microsoft Office pun?"" I was like, ""Word.""#Microsoft#Microsoft Office#Work0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Did you hear about Michael Jackson's new album? It's called Invincible! *Sent using Microsoft Internet Explorer 6*#Michael#Jacksons#Microsoft#Technology+1 more0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
I hate the new 'Edge' browser Microsoft implemented in Windows 10... ...It's so pointless!#Microsoft#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
I just opened up Microsoft Edge... Now I can download Google Chrome in style.#Microsoft#Google#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
I used to work at Microsoft I *Excel*led in my role. I worked in an *Office* where I was tasked with creating and presenting *Powerpoints* which highlighted Microsoft's true *Visio*n. I found it easy to *Express* myself and enjoyed helping spread the *Word* about the organisation. However, *One* should *Note* the animosity between me and some of the employees, so I wrote a book about it and gave it to a *Publisher*. Needless to say I got fired. And what do I do now? I clean *Windows*.#Microsoft#Microsofts#Work0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Microsoft used to make fleshlights then they halted production because everyone kept getting viruses.#Microsoft#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
What does it say on the door of the Microsoft store? No shirt, no shoes, no Surface.#Microsoft#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Somebody told the terminator to update his Microsoft windows, his response- ""I still love vista, baby""#Microsoft#Kids#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Why did Microsoft name their new web browser ""Edge""? Because people familiar with the U2 guitarist of the same name are already used to long delays.#Microsoft0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
If someone on the Windows team at Microsoft gets fired... would you say they've been defenestrated?#Microsoft#Work#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Why did Microsoft skip Windows 9 Because Microsoft 7 8 9#Skip Windows#Microsoft#Because Microsoft#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
If Microsoft releases a car... If Microsoft releases a car called Win10 . The same car would fit all size of drivers, from ants to Whales.#Microsoft#If Microsoft#Driving0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Laugh jokes I know a lady who blew her man's jimmy off because he wanted to be down with O.P.P. Now he down with No P.P. ""GEORGE WILLBORN . CAUGHT UP IN TROUBLE"" It was tough for me, got caught up: cutting class, drinking, smoking, gambling, raping and pillaging the town. What I'm trying to tell you is the fifth grade was hell for me, alright? "" JAMES HANNAH !SOMETHING YOU DIDN'T DO "" I think if you go to jail for something you didn't do, you should get credit towards another crime. LAW SCHO…Read more#George Willborn#James Hannah#Law School#Microsoft+4 more0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Microsoft There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define ""Great"" he said, ""I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.#Microsoft0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Lost Helicopter A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communication equipment. Due to the clouds and haze the pilot could not determine his position or course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign and held it in the helicopter's window. The sign said ""WHERE AM I?"" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly respond…Read more#Seattle#Seattletacoma Airport#Microsoft#Airplane0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Microsoft has realized that all their products get better PR by naming it after Halo mythology. I'm expecting the next Windows version to be Windows 117.#Microsoft0🔗 ShareWhatsApp