Mcdonalds Jokes

To little kid eyeing my McDonalds: thats right i can eat this any time i want... Dont ask about any of the other parts of my life please.

If McDonald's was smart they'd serve breakfast until 2pm on the weekends.

"A wine please" "Sir, this is McDonalds..." "Okay, a McWine please"

If you lie down on the floor in McDonald's you get to meet the manager

If banks were as fiercely regulated as McDonalds breakfast cut off time, there'd be no problems.

[Batman at McDonald's] What's your chicken sandwich called? -A McChicken And the rib? -A McRib [pulls out his batwallet] I like your style.

Give a man a fish and he'll go to McDonald's instead. Teach a man to fish and nope, still McDonald's

[sanitation worker knocks at my door] The amount of McDonald's related trash we're collecting from your home each week has us concerned.

Hey McDonalds! I bet there are a bunch of 300lb+ people that want to be in your commercials too!

its 2013 and mcdonalds still doesnt serve breakfast all day

There were over 14,000 wars before McDonalds launched the Dollar Menu. Since launching it, there's only been 32. Those are just the facts.

Something people in McDonalds have? Fries. Something people in McDonalds don't have? Ankles.

I dare McDonald's to introduce a black Hamburglar. I McDouble dare them.

Impressing the McDonald's drive thru people with my music is always a top priority

A Couple of underscores is to a couple of underscores? Ok. RT @McDonalds: #ShamrockShake is to spring as _____ is to _______.

Ordering at McDonald's & the cashier asked if my child wanted a Happy Meal. I explained the toxicity of equating consumerism with happiness.

Weird, it almost feels like the drive thru workers at McDonald's are being more judgemental of my choices than I am of theirs.

If men could get pregnant, not only would abortions be legal, I think McDonald's would be doing it.

Being a fat guy at McDonald's is like being the muscle guy at the gym. People stay out of your way cause they know you mean business

"Give me your finest meal, money is of no concern." ~ Me at McDonald's on pay day.

*wears a tuxedo tshirt to interview as a joke* McDonald's Manager: Oh wow, are you from corporate?

I saw an attractive woman spank her kid in McDonalds after he threw his fries on the ground, so I also threw mine on the ground.

McDonalds actually does serve breakfast after 10:30 if u have a gun

'McDonalds is the biggest sponsor of the 2012 olympic games'. We've officially reached the point where satire doesn't need punchlines.

Saw a homeless guy at McDonald's begging for money, told him I'd buy him something to eat. He said no thanks, getting money for Taco Bell.