Skipped the gym today to go to McDonald's. The bus did not come back, so I had to walk 2 miles home. Well played, universe.#Mcdonalds0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
As I rise from my slumber the children scream in horror, as they did not know I was in the McDonald's Playland ball pit#Mcdonalds#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
You could probably win the US election by promising to make the McRib a permanent McDonald's menu item.#Mcdonalds#Politics#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
How has sound technology come so far & yet the McDonalds drive-thru still sounds like someone is farting into a walkie-talkie.#Mcdonalds0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
McDonald's burgers always look so great in their commercials but when you actually order one it always looks like its been sat on.#Mcdonalds0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
I purposely park three feet away from the drive thru window so Mcdonalds employees can get in their daily stretches.#Mcdonalds#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Me and be Jealous?... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ... Who is McDonald's and why are you 'lovin it'?#Mcdonalds#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Common courtesy: don't bring McDonalds French fries on the plane unless you bring enough for everybody.#Mcdonalds#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
[talking to mcdonalds cashier] which burger has the most acai berry vitamins and superfood antioxidants?#Mcdonalds#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
A lady crashed into a McDonald's here in town. Hey Leno, here's a free one for you: "Looks like she took 'drive-thru' a bit too literally!"#Mcdonalds0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
British woman suing McDonalds after finding a cigarette in her ONE year old's Happy Meal.As if ciggie wasn't the healthiest thing in the bag#Mcdonalds0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
I borrowed $500 from a co-worker then paid a homeless guy $8 to kill him in a McDonald's bathroom. I'm up $405 or whatever.#Mcdonalds0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
McDonald's sponsoring the Olympics is like Jack Daniels sponsoring the prom.#Mcdonalds#Jack Daniels#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
"I believe I can fry" - R Kelly filling out McDonald's application#Kelly#Mcdonalds#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Eye contact with the McDonald's drive-thru cashier is a shame-filled mistake.#Mcdonalds#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
A hand grenade to a daycare? RT @McDonalds: #ShamrockShake is to spring as _____ is to _______.#Mcdonalds#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Every time you have McDonald's as a kid, it's a victory. Every time you have it as an adult, it's a defeat.#Mcdonalds#Kids#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
If McDonalds wants to check my $10 bill for signs of counterfeit, I should be able to check their chicken for chicken.#Mcdonalds#Animals#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
(McDonald's bathroom) *pulls away from kissing* You're better than my mirror at home#Mcdonalds#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
McDonald's should start gearing ads toward their target audience: husky toddlers and seagulls.#Mcdonalds#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Trump's rhetoric has become even more disturbing and incendiary. Today he claimed "Burger King fries are as good as McDonald's fries."#Mcdonalds0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Once upon a time (today) I had to help with pre school homework Me: -holds up yellow Me: What color is this? 4: McDonalds The end#Mcdonalds#School0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Some people don't believe in New Year resolutions. Like everyone in this McDonald's drive thru.#Mcdonalds#Holiday#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
[job interview] How did you lose your last job? "I quit because I wanted a career with a bright future." Sir, this is McDonald's.#Mcdonalds#Work0🔗 ShareWhatsApp