Mcdonalds Jokes

Asked my 3yo what she was thinking and she said "I wouldn't want to work at McDonald's bc you have to poop in the food before you serve it."

Playboy's decision to keep models clothed comes weeks after McDonald's decision to serve breakfast all day.

If McDonalds sold hot dogs would you be able to (w/ a straight face) order a McWeiner and tell them to supersize it?

her: the manager of the McDonalds down the street called today... him: [sitting on couch next to Ronald McDonald statue] Did he sound mad?

The sign at the McDonald's I just passed says "We hiring" in case you're wondering what kind of qualifications you need to have to be hired.

Don't you love it when you order salt at McDonald's and you accidentally get some fries!

Cashier at McDonalds said "See you later" a little too smugly at breakfast. I did not appreciate her condescension and told her so at lunch.

Big deal, McDonalds. We're all here for a limited time only.

drank a Mike's Hard Lemonade & crashed my dirt bike into a mailbox RT @McDonalds Good morning! How was your weekend?

I'm at my most financial consultant when I tell the McDonald's employee what my change back should be.

Tonight I saw a truck spin out in a snowy McDonalds parking lot, and honestly it was doing a much better job of being president.

Anyone who's ever stood in a busy McDonald's line at 10:29am not knowing what to get has been closer to getting murdered than they realize.

If your bio says "Producer, entrepreneur, DJ, & businessman" I'm assuming you misspelled "Lives with Mom, works at McDonalds."

I didn't think a McDonald's Happy Meal would fill me up, but it did... OMG, I ATE THE TOY!

Chris Pratt is my favorite actor whose name sounds like if a rodent fell in the McDonald's deep fryer

before mcdonald's i bet "don't buy cheeseburgers from a clown" was a pretty hard and fast rule

The toy inside my McDonald's Apathy Meal is just a lump of gray plastic and an instruction sheet that says "Whatever. This job sucks."

2017 whatsapp notification: Linda read your message and texted Morissa and they decided to go to McDonalds without you

As long as McDonald's doesn't make us pay with excercise.

I go to McDonald's once a month just to replenish the napkin stash in my car

Just saw a bag of McDonalds in the street. Unsure how this will affect brand. Could be good (free advertising) or bad (no one was eating it)

I have this theory that McDonald's hamburgers are actually made out of their employees. That's why they're always hiring.

Only at Mcdonalds do they say, "Sorry about your wait" and really mean "weight."

Wait til the people so excited about all-day breakfast at McDonald's find out they can make breakfast at home whenever they want.

Serial killers start their day by eating breakfast at McDonalds. Let me rephrase. They arent serial killers until they order & have to wait.