Mcdonalds Jokes

Get your shit together, people at McDonald's drive thru who sit there all confused like the menu hasn't been the same for the last 50 years

I FEEL SO ALIVE MCDONALD'S IS GIVING AWAY FREE COFFEE I PASSED 20 MCDONALD'S TODAY DO THE MATH TOO LATE I DID THE MATH SLEEP IS FOR MORTALS

Have you guys tried McDonald's new Premium McWrap? So much better than the Budget McWrap, which is a dead mouse in a cabbage leaf.

McDonalds employees get so cranky when you perform the entire dance routine to Britney Spear's "I'm a slave for you" before ordering.

McDonalds can't extend their breakfast hours because at 10:01am, the eggs become self aware.

Ignorant person: "You're Canadian. You live in igloos, right?" Me: "You're American. You live in McDonalds', Right?

Me: LARGE FRY! McDonald's Manager: Ma'am, you can't use the drive-thru riding a stick pony. Please leave NOW Me: I WILL CUT YOU! *sirens*

It's sad going to McDonald's and finding out that a meal is happier than you.

*puts on layers of running gear* *makes a ponytail* *laces up sneakers* *drives to McDonalds*

i dropped a chicken mcnugget and I've been on the floor of mcdonalds sobbing the lyrics to how to save a life by the fray for 2 hours

Was told I can't use Wi-Fi at McDonald's unless I eat. So I am bringing a peanut butter sandwich.

*peeing in the urinal at McDonalds* *turns to the guy peeing in the other urinal* "So, what did you order?"

Accidentally ordered a large Coke from McDonalds. My Smart Car tipped over

"I love Justin Bieber" well I love McDonalds but you dont see me making an account pretending to be a chicken nugget, do you?

At McDonalds Cashier: You total is to tell your kids that you love them Me: Look lady if I loved them I wouldn't be feeding them this crap

Got a job at McDonald's as a secret agent for the Burger King.

Mom: Where're you going? Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends? Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...

You're not truly a parent until you've crawled through the McDonalds urine tubes to pull out a crying child.

"If Bernie doesn't get the nom, I'm voting Trump." "Also, if McDonald's is out of chicken nuggets, I'm going to eat 20 scorpions."

giv a man a fish adn he'll say "wat is this i ordered a mcflurry" teach a man to fish adn he'll say "how ar u the manager of this mcdonalds"

The airport lady at passport control saw I was American & warned me there were no McDonald's past security. I feel very profiled & grateful.

Next time your sit at a McDonald's playland and a parent asks you, "Which one is yours?" Say, "I haven't picked one out yet!" It's worth it.

Me: ..and a small sprite. McDonald's Girl: Want a large? All sizes are only $.99 Me: I ASKED FOR SMALL YOU DIABETES PEDDLER ok gimme a large

I'm not saying he's a gold digger, but he certainly did not hold back when I took him through the McDonald's drive thru.

I can't believe this guy took time away from his busy schedule of commenting on YouTube videos to make my McDonald's order wrong.