My mom handed me her phone to find me on Twitter... So I deleted her account, uninstalled the app, and told her it went out of business.

"She sends things to strangers on the internet and no one even cares but she keeps doing it" - my dad, explaining me on twitter to my aunt.

He is on that bird call website a lot. - My Mom describing me on twitter to older relatives at get-togethers.

After six years of being responsible, I finally went and lost my phone last night. I'm currently using Twitter from the web. LIKE A CAVEMAN.