I call McDonald's to make a reservation for Valentine's Day, just to listen to the stammering and confusion from the kid answering the phone

Every time you have McDonald's as a kid, it's a victory. Every time you have it as an adult, it's a defeat.

To little kid eyeing my McDonalds: thats right i can eat this any time i want... Dont ask about any of the other parts of my life please.

I saw an attractive woman spank her kid in McDonalds after he threw his fries on the ground, so I also threw mine on the ground.