Hilary Clinton Jokes

How does Hilary Clinton clean her glasses? By wiping the mainframe.

The biggest joke of 2015.. When you have Donald Trump, Hilary Clinton, and Deez Nuts running for President.

Snow White, Superman, and Pinocchio are walking down the street... ...They come across a ""World's most Beautiful Woman"" competition, so Snow White gives it a try. She comes back and tells the others, ""I've won first place!"" They keep walking and see a ""World's Strongest Man"" competition and Superman gives it a try. He comes back saying, ""I beat them all with ease."" As they look for something for Pinocchio to do, they come across a ""World's Best Liar"" competition. ""Oh this will be easy…

What's gonna happen if Hilary Clinton gets elected as President. The kitchen staff are gonna wonder why she's missing.

Hilary Clinton, Bill O'Reilly and Brian Williams walk into a bar Well not necessarily a bar per se and they didn't actually walk in and they weren't together...Ok I made it all up

Hilary Clinton is pregnant.... Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find outthat she's pregnant! She is furious. Here just became the senator ofNew York and this has happened to her. She gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming: ""How could you have let this happen? With all that's going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! Howcould you? ? !!! I can't believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it is all your fault!!! Your fault!!! Well, …

Bill and Hilary Clinton, a boy, and an elderly man are on a plane ...when the plane starts going down. Unfortunately there was only 3 parachutes. Bill says ""I was president of the United States so i should take one."" So he grabs a chute and jumps. Hillary says ""I'm the smartest person in the world, so i should go."" So she grabs a chute and jumps. Then the elderly man says ""I've lived my life boy, you take the last chute"" The boy says ""Wait there's still two parachutes, the smartest person…

Q: What famouse Arkansas State Supreme Court decision is Hilary Clinton famous for? A: If you divorce your wife in Arkansas is she still your cousin?

A joke we tell tourists in china Back when the Terra-cotta Soldiers were discovered, Bill and Hilary Clinton decided to visit the site. It was also asked of the chinese officials arranging the tour, that the Clintons could meet the meek and old chinese man that discovered the Terra-cotta. Back then, the Terra-cotta site was out in the province in a small local village. This village was the hometown of the fortunate old chinese man who discovered them and was going to meet POTUS. It also meant …

Barack Obama, the Pope, Hilary Clinton and a boy scout are on a plane... The plane is about to crash when they realize there are only 3 parachutes. The first passenger, President Obama said “I am the president of the United States, as much as it will haunt me for the rest of my life, I must insist I take a parachute. I have a great responsibility, being the leader of nearly 300 million people and the strongest military in the world.” The others agree and the president grabs a bag and jumps out…

A list of Hilary Clinton jokes.

Hilary Clinton dies While walking down the street one day a corrupt Hillary Clinton was tragically hit by a car and died. Her soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," says Hillary Clinton. "Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What …

Hilary Clinton goes to a psychic. The soothsayer tells her "Your husband will die a horrible violent death.""

The Pope and Hilary Clinton were on the same stage at the Yankee Stadium in front of a giant crowd... The Pope leans towards Hilary and says

How many Hilary Clinton supporters does it take to change a lightbulb? None- they prefer to be kept in the dark

So the American people's choices for President of the United States will most likely be Donald Trump or Hilary Clinton. That's it. That's the joke. There is no punchline.

A list of Hilary Clinton jokes. [deleted]

Hilary Clinton will make the best president She will save us 25% in salary right from the start.

Hilary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected in to office. Sorry it was supposed to say Female but the emale got deleted.

You wanna hear a funny joke? Hilary Clinton is running for president.

If Hilary Clinton is elected president, what title will they give Bill? First Lady's man (;

Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton are on a boat that is sinking, who survives? America.

How many Hilary Clinton aides does it take to setup a private server? [REDACTED]

What is the difference between Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton? How their name's spelt.

If Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump both get in a plane accident, who survives? America