Hilary Clinton goes to a psychic. The soothsayer tells her, ""Your husband will die a horrible violent death."" Hilary asks, ""Will I be acquitted?""

NEW! "How to Act" DVD by Kristen Stewart! In love: :| Uncertain: :| Just married: :| Pregnant: :| Dead: :| Only $139.95! Act now!

Wife: Are you still tweeting about me being in labor? Me: Now I'm live tweeting "The Walking Dead." Wife: Me: Everything isn't about you.

"Don't move or she's dead" was the last thing the wife heard before the husband started tap dancing.