Fred Jokes

Now Its the Father Problem Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.

Happiness Fred lost one of his arms in an accident.

Potato Patch An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son Fred

The deaf wife Fred feared his wife Rhonda wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her

Fred and Mary got married Fred and Mary got married

Two men are walking down the street When they see 3 guys across the road beating up an older woman. Fred turns to George and says "Hey, isn't that your mother in law over there?" "So it is." replies George "Well aren't you going to help?!" Fred asked. "Nah," George replied, "I think 3 should be enough"

No one in here better be making any jokes about Fred Phelps' death God hates gags.

Fred has 3 red balls and 5 blue balls in a bag. How many balls does Fred have? 10.

Two men in a bar?,"Man 1: Do you think you could start your own betting company? Man 2: No but I bet Fred could.

Can someone please explain this joke? Q. What do you call a bald teddy? A. Fred bear I don't get it.

Why did Fred put band aids in the refrigerator? He wanted cold cuts.

Two men in a bar? Man 1: Do you think you could start your own betting company? Man 2: No, but I bet Fred could.

What's pink and smells of ginger? Fred Astaire's finger.

Why didn't Wilma let Fred in when he was banging at the door? Because she was in the shower and didn't hear him because the elephant stump was on full blast.

Fred's convertible glided to a halt on the edge of a lonely country road. "I suppose," said his pretty but reluctant date, "you're going to pull the old 'out of gas' routine." "No," said Fred, " I'm going to pull the 'here after' routine." "The 'here after' routine... what's that?" she wanted to know. "If you're not here after what I'm here after, you'll be here after I'm gone!" he replies.

Every year, Fred and Ethel would spend a day at the State Fair. Every year, Fred would say, "Ethel, I'd like to ride in that airplane." And every year, Ethel would say, "I know, Fred, but that airplane ride cost ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." One year, while they were at the fair, Fred said, "Ethel, I'm 74 years old. If I don't have a ride in that airplane this year, I may never get another chance." "Fred, that airplane ride cost ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars," Ethel…

Never before had Sue looked in the box that her husband kept under their bed. The box had been there for the past 20 years of their marriage but she had never invaded his privacy. One day, while cleaning, she decided to take a look in the box. She didn't figure it was anything he was hiding since she could have looked at it any other time but hadn't. In the box, she found 3 eggs and 10 thousand dollars. This seemed very strange so she went to Fred and asked, "Why are there 3 eggs in a box under …

My friend Fred had twins. He named them Tin and Martin. Again had twins and named them Peter and Repeater. Again twins and named them Max and Climax. Again the same. Disgusted Fred named them Tired & Retired.

Harry and Fred both bought one horse each. They wanted to make sure that they feed their own horse each morning. So Harry asked, “how will we know which is your and which is mine?” Fred said “its easy I will cut mine’s tail and yours will be the one with tail”. Some boys outside heard it and cut the tail of other horse too. So the next morning confusion arose even more. Harry said, “don’t worry, I”ll tie a bell around its neck, yours will be the one without the bell”. The boys heard this too so …