So these two whales walk into a bar... ...The first whale says to the bartender, ""[whooooooooo- whooooooooooooooo- whoooo- whooooop- whooooooo-""](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo2bVbDtiX8) The second whale says, ""Fred, you're drunk.""

Classic cartoon characters get together for a reunion. A bunch of classic cartoon characters get together one night for some fun. After dinner, followed by a few too many glasses of wine, Velma Flintstone declares ""Have any of you ladies been having any intimacy issues? Fred and I have had to use personal lubricant lately. I guess after thousands of years, the spark is just gone."" ""Oh sister, you are not alone!"" chirps Daphne. My Fred and I have been using lube since that whole ordeal with t…

A Bit of Variety Fred and Jim are having a quiet beer one night when Fred announces that he's going to divorce his wife. ""Good grief,"" says Jim, ""You and Sue are the happiest couple I know. Why on earth would you want to divorce such a lovely woman after all these years of obvious bliss?"" ""Well,"" replies Fred, ""Truth be known I'm just bored with pokin' the same hole night after night after night. I guess I'm hankerin' for a bit of variety."" Jim thinks for a while and then suggests, ""Wel…

An old prospector finds a gold nugget... Excited to have a little cash and looking to celebrate, he gets on his donkey and rides it down into town. He walks into the saloon, has some whisky, and then says, ""Bartender, you got any women around here?"" The bartender says, ""Nope. But we got old Fred in the back."" The prospector looks disgusted and says, ""Nope, nope, nope. I don't go for that shit."" gets back on his donkey, and rides back to his mine. A few years later, he finds another nugget.…