Facebook Jokes

A fun prank is to search "buy antique dolls" on someone's computer because then all their Facebook targeted ads are creepy dolls forever

I can't face my checkbook so I check my Facebook.

Ocean's 45: The group gets bigger each heist It's too hard to keep secrets Someone posts the next plan on Facebook Everyone goes to jail

"Please add your phone number to secure your acct." Facebook is now the Nigerian Prince.

I miss the old days when I could say I wasn't around and you couldn't check Facebook or twitter to see if I was lying

I used to worry about offending people's moms on facebook but now they all post memes like "I chug vodka to keep from drowning my children"

Ironically, I hate people who say "like us on Facebook".

Everytime I check my facebook I remember why i'm on Twitter.

Pretty much the most frightening part of my day is when I get a notification that my mother has tagged me in a post on Facebook.

My neighbor's facebook movie is just a montage of me caught on surveillance video, stealing his newspaper every morning.

Im going to change my name on Facebook to "Benefits", so that when you add me it will say, "You are now friends with benefits"

Is one of the steps in the P90X workout to tell everyone on Facebook that you're doing it?

Facebook is terrific way to connect with classmates who haven't aged as well as you.

I KNOW WHO TWEETED THAT! -Me when reading ecards on Facebook

Dear girls, Santa saw your Facebook page, you're getting clothes and a dictionary for Christmas.

Every vote counts! Unless you forget to post your I voted sticker on Facebook, those ballots get thrown into an incinerator.

Twitter, because I owe people on Facebook money.

IF YOU LIKE THAT FACEBOOK STATUS SO MUCH, WHY DON'T YOU MARRY IT?!

Every political Facebook status should start with, "First of all, I have no idea what I'm talking about."

Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status... After 3 it should default to "Unstable"

Ron on Facebook says he hopes to be stuck on a dessert island, so naturally I commented "that sounds delicious".

"What did you do?" "Genocide. You?" "I shared a 10 Funniest Autocorrect FAILS on Facebook." - Conversations in Hell

I don't think my black friends on Facebook have the same keyboard as me.

Wanna have a little fun? Go to Facebook and post "Anyone know a good lawyer?" Then sit back and watch the speculation run wild!

Uh oh, happy facebook newlywed, your husband just created a twitter account.