Bach Jokes

Why didn't Bach buy his wife a new accordion? He couldn't afford it; he was ""Baroque"".

What did Schwarzenegger say when deciding which composer to be for Halloween? I'll be Bach.

Sean Connery, Sylvester Stallone, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are going to be in a movie about classical composers... They are talking to the director about what roles they want to play. Sean Connery says ""I would shertainly like to play Moshart."" Sylvester Stallone says ""Uh, well, I guess I wanna play Beethoven."" And so Arnold pauses a moment, and then says ""I'll be Bach.""

Steven Spielberg, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are in a bar After a few drinks Steven says he's thinking about making an action movie about classical composers Sylvester says ""I wanna be Mozart!"" Arnold says ""in that case...I'll be Bach""

Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked to be in a movie about famous musical composers... He responded ""I'll be Bach""

A man walks into a record store... A man walks into a record store, looking confused. The owner approaches him: ""Hey, you seem a little lost. Can I show you where anything is?"" ""Uh yes, actually."", the man replies, ""I'm looking for some classical music, as I've never listened to it before."" ""Oh, well we have a vast variety of classical music in this section. Feel free to go to the counter if you have any questions."" A few minutes later, the man goes to the counter holding two vinyls. ""D…

A man walks into a bar A man walks into a half empty bar and says to the bartender ""If I show you something amazing will you give me a free drink?"" ""You know bud,"" the world-weary bartender says, ""I've been in this business for a long, long time and it will take something pretty freaking special to impress me but if you think you can give it a shot"". The man smiles and lifts a carry-on type suitcase onto the bar, opens it, reaches in and withdraws a small grand piano and places it on the b…

What did Mozart tell the terminator I'll be Bach

A New Movie - Stephen Spielberg Stephen Speilberg has just recently decided to create a new action movie about the greatest composers on Earth. His creates his cast and asks them 'Who do you want to be' ... Bruce Willis says to him 'I ll play Beethoven, i've always fancied myself as a bit of a genius' Liam Neeson then pipes up saying 'Im going to be Mozart, i find his music very relaxing and very baroque' Lastly Arnold Schwarzenegger says 'Ill be Bach'

Hey Terminator, who are you dressing up as for the musical fancy dress? I'll be Bach

Arnold Schwarzenegger goes to a Halloween party. The theme is ""Dead Classical Composers""... When asked who he'll dress up as, Arnold says, ""I'll be Bach.""

Someone asked me to name my favorite composer... It made me Bach. I couldn't get a Handel on it. I had to make a Liszt.

I hate when my bank account is like a musical composition by Bach Baroque.

I got Arnold Schwarzenegger into Baroque music... He'll be Bach.

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when invited to the musician themed costume party? I'll be Bach

BEETHOVEN'S CHICKEN Q: Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? A: It kept saying, ""Bach, Bach, Bach.""

Arnold's Costume Choice Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger are going to a costume party and want to have similar costumes. ""I'll go as Mozart, so you should go as another famous musician,"" said Stallone. Schwarzenegger said, ""I'll be Bach.""

Music nerd's joke. Bach (a father of 20) was bragging to Vivaldi (a priest). Bach: You know, I have 20 children. Vivaldi: Yeah, I know. Bach: I've written chorales, oratorios, concertos. I've codified the tonal system. I've invented a way of tuning harpsichords and organs so that they can play in a multitude of keys without having to be retuned between key changes. Vivaldi: Yeah, I heard. Well, Johann was going on and on about himself when, suddenly, he fell into a ditch. Bach: O help me, Antoni…

What do you tell a conductor when they lose control of their orchestra? Go Bach and get a Handel on it!

Austria, mid-1950s Once upon a time in an Austrian elementary school, the children were preparing for the school play. This year it was about classical musicians. The teacher asked some students who they'd like to portray in the production. Hans wanted to be Mozart, Johan wanted to be Beethoven, and Karl wanted to be Brahms. When little Arnold was asked, he replied ""I'll be Bach!""

Chuck, Jean Claude and Arnold. Chuck Norris, Arnold Swartzenagger, and Jean Claud VanDam, were talking one day. Chuck Norris asked, ""If you were a musician, who would you be?"". Chuck Norris said, ""I would be Motzart."" Jean Claud VanDam said, ""I would be Bethoven."" Arnold said, ""I'll be Bach!""

Which member of the Bach family went to prison? Bachgen Drwg. (it's welsh)

GovSchwarzenegger's musical talents. One day Arnold Schwarzenegger and his two friends Bill and Tom were going for a stroll downtown. Suddenly a man jumped out of a doorway and said ""Help! We've just lost our three leads for our movie on famous European composers!"" Arnie and the boys, ever the gentlemen, decided to help the poor fellow. Once inside, the director told them who the three composers in question were and that they could pick each part for themselves. ""I'll be Mozart."" Said Bill. …

Steven Spielberg has a new idea for a movie He says he wants to make an action movie about classical music composers. Sylvester Stallone says ""I wana be Motzart!"" Arnold Schwarzenegger says ""In zat case...I'll be Bach""

A party was held for current and former actors where you had to come as your favourite musician. When Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked what he was going to wear, his response was I'll be Bach