Sylvester Stallone Jokes

Sylvester Stallone is looking more and more like G.I Joe doll put in a microwave on high for twenty minutes

I'm so hungover that my thoughts sound like Sylvester Stallone.

Last night I watched a great U.S. Olympic Trials semifinal match that featured Sylvester Stallone vs Joey Lawrence in a Pronunciation game.

Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Steven Seagal decide to make and star in a movie about famous composers... Bruce: ""Okay guys, let's decide which musicians we'd like to portray"" Seagal: ""Well, I guess I'll play Beethoven if you guys think that works"" Stallone: ""that seems like a good fit. I think I'll be Mozart."" Willis: ""Sounds good so far. I'd like to portray Brahms."" *Stallone turns towards Schwarzenegger* ""Hey Arnold, have you decide who you want to play?…

Three action movie stars are sitting in a bar So, Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are sitting in a bar, and Sylvester Stallone is like: ""Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."" Chuck says: ""Don't you have any ideas?"" ""Yeah, this may sound silly, but I was actually thinking about doing a movie on great classical composers"" That's when Arnold trows himself in the …

Some Arnie jokes My wife has just left me for Arnold Schwarzenegger. She'll be back. __ Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 7. He replied, ""I still love Vista, baby"". __ A movie production company desperately needs a new idea. They decide to make an Action Film featuring Classical Musicians. They begin to enlist famous Action Heroes. The actors that are chosen; Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Director says, ""Sylvester, you be Beethov…

My girlfriend and I have a rocky relationship... Much like Sylvester Stallone, there is a communication problem.

Sean Connery, Sylvester Stallone, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are going to be in a movie about classical composers... They are talking to the director about what roles they want to play. Sean Connery says ""I would shertainly like to play Moshart."" Sylvester Stallone says ""Uh, well, I guess I wanna play Beethoven."" And so Arnold pauses a moment, and then says ""I'll be Bach.""

My girlfriend starting putting a miniature Sylvester Stallone doll in the middle of the bed a few months ago Things have been a little rocky between us ever since

Steven Spielberg, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are in a bar After a few drinks Steven says he's thinking about making an action movie about classical composers Sylvester says ""I wanna be Mozart!"" Arnold says ""in that case...I'll be Bach""

Steven Spielberg has a new idea for a movie He says he wants to make an action movie about classical music composers. Sylvester Stallone says ""I wana be Motzart!"" Arnold Schwarzenegger says ""In zat case...I'll be Bach""

Tim Howard has been America's best goalkeeper since Sylvester Stallone in 1945.

Sylvester Stallone and his buddy Arnold Schwarzenegger have teamed up, and they've got a blockbuster action movie opening this weekend. They're a little older now than they use to be, but go see the movie. It's called ""Escape From Assisted Living.""

A director decides that he's going to make a movie based on the lives of famous classical composers. Looking for a prospective cast, he asks Sylvester Stallone which composer he would like to play in the movie. Stallone thinks for a moment and says, ""I like Mozart. Let me be Mozart."" The director then turns to Arnold Schwarzenegger and asks him who he'd like to play. Arnold replies, ""I'll be Bach!""

Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are planning a costume party and the theme is composers. Bruce tells the other stars, "I'll dress up as Mozart". Sylvester responds, "I'd be a great Beethoven". As the two are planning their costumes, Arnold checks the time and notices he's late for an appointment. As he hurries out the door, Bruce and Stallone ask "Hey, Arnold, who'll you dress up as? Arnold responds, as he walks out of the room, "I'll be Bach".

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when Sylvester Stallone wanted to dress up as classical composers for Halloween? "You be Beethoven, I'll be Bach."

Sylvester Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Dam, and Arnold Schwarzenegger So one day, Sylvester Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Dam, and Arnold Schwarzenegger were sitting together in a bar, kicking back, drinking a few brews, talking about life and talking about the roles they'd played in movies. As the three men talked, each was surprised to realize that all three of them had grown tired of playing the action hero- shooting the bad guys, pulling off life-threatening stunts, and getting the girl in the en…

So there's this school play... Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Arnold Schwarzenegger have to put on a play featuring their favorite musical composers. They each toil over who they will play, until the next day they meet. Stallone goes first. "I'll be Mozart" Next up is Chuck Norris. "I'll be Beethoven". Happy that no one picked his composer, Arnold announces "I'll be Bach".

Sylvester Stallone meets up with Jean Claude van Damme, Dolph Lundgren and Arnold Schwarzenegger at a pub. They get a round of drinks in and sit down at a table. “Thanks for coming guys” says Sly. “I’ve had this great idea for a movie about famous 18th Century composers and I wondered if you guys wanted in? I’m planning on playing Beethoven.” “I love the idea” says van Damme. “I’ve always wanted to portray Mozart”. “Yeah, I’m in” says Lundgren. “Cast me as Handel”. “What about you Arnold?” …

Last week, my wife got a miniature Sylvester Stallone doll and put it in the middle of the bed. Things have …been a little Rocky between us ever since.

Sylvester Stallone has launched a new range of cakes. I would highly recommend them. They are the best thing since Sly's bread.

So there's this school play... Sylvester Stallone

Sylvester Stallone Jean-Claude Van Dam

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when Sylvester Stallone wanted to dress up as classical composers for Halloween? ""You be Beethoven