Sylvester Jokes

Expendables 4 (Rated R): Tom, Sylvester & Wiley Coyote coldly hunt down & eat Jerry, Tweety & Roadrunner. Directed by Quentin Tarantino.

Three action movie stars are sitting in a bar So, Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are sitting in a bar, and Sylvester Stallone is like: ""Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."" Chuck says: ""Don't you have any ideas?"" ""Yeah, this may sound silly, but I was actually thinking about doing a movie on great classical composers"" That's when Arnold trows himself in the …

Some Arnie jokes My wife has just left me for Arnold Schwarzenegger. She'll be back. __ Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 7. He replied, ""I still love Vista, baby"". __ A movie production company desperately needs a new idea. They decide to make an Action Film featuring Classical Musicians. They begin to enlist famous Action Heroes. The actors that are chosen; Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Director says, ""Sylvester, you be Beethov…

Steven Spielberg, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are in a bar After a few drinks Steven says he's thinking about making an action movie about classical composers Sylvester says ""I wanna be Mozart!"" Arnold says ""in that case...I'll be Bach""

Two 80 year old men are driving down the road when they hear the Ex-Lax commercial end with the statement: ""It makes you feel young again."" John looks at Sylvester and says ""We need to pull over and get a bottle of that stuff!"" Sylvester agrees and the two old men pull over and get a bottle of Ex-Lax. They both take two tablespoons each and continue to drive. About one mile later Sylvester asks ""Well John do you feel young yet?"" ""No"" replies John. So they pull over and take four m…

Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are planning a costume party and the theme is composers. Bruce tells the other stars, "I'll dress up as Mozart". Sylvester responds, "I'd be a great Beethoven". As the two are planning their costumes, Arnold checks the time and notices he's late for an appointment. As he hurries out the door, Bruce and Stallone ask "Hey, Arnold, who'll you dress up as? Arnold responds, as he walks out of the room, "I'll be Bach".

One day in math... ...we got two new transfer students. They were twins named Ving and Ling who had moved in from Korea. I sat next to Ving during class and I got to know him pretty well. We liked the same books, movies, games, you name it! At the end of the quarter, we had a huge unit exam, it was about 30% of our grade. Luckily, Ving let me copy off of him on one condition, I take him to get his name changed after school. The guy absolutely despises his name, he thinks it sounds too stereotyp…