Steven Spielberg Jokes

Record breaking, visionary director Steven Spielberg: 'Wanna play a dull, killed off screen character?' Samuel L Jackson: 'Sure'

My only goal is to run into Steven Spielberg, beg him to let me pitch a movie, and then pretend like I don't realize I'm describing Jaws

A Chinese walks into a bar... A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, ""You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbour, get outta here."" The astonished Chinese man replied, ""It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese"". ""Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same,"" replied Spielberg. …

I heard Steven Spielberg is directing a film about a fat alien... It's called ""Eat-T, The Extra Cholesterol"".

Yo mama.. is so old that Steven Spielberg used her as a dinosaur consultant in Jurassic Park

Now the Fine Bros are suing Steven Spielberg He had to make the cast re-act 12 times before they had a viable take for the scene

Steven Spielberg, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are in a bar After a few drinks Steven says he's thinking about making an action movie about classical composers Sylvester says ""I wanna be Mozart!"" Arnold says ""in that case...I'll be Bach""

A Chinese went to a bar in Hawaii to have some drinks.. A Chinese went to a bar in Hawaii to have some drinks. At the counter, he sat next to a famous Hollywood producer, Steven Spielberg, who was already ahead by a quart of alcohol.After a round of beer the Chinese sensed that the famous producer was glaring at him. Suddenly, in a flash, the Chinese crashed down from his stool, felled by a vicious hook from the producer. Picking himself up, he yelled, ""What the hell was that for?"" The produce…

Steven Spielberg has a new idea for a movie He says he wants to make an action movie about classical music composers. Sylvester Stallone says ""I wana be Motzart!"" Arnold Schwarzenegger says ""In zat case...I'll be Bach""

Steven Spielberg dies and goes to heaven. He's greeted at the gates by Peter who informs him that God is a big fan of his work. He begins with a tour of the place and goes on to mention that if Steven needs anything to just say the word. ""We'll, I'd love to meet Stanley Kubrick,"" Steven admits. ""I'm sorry, but as you may know, Mr. Kubrick doesn't take meetings,"" Peter replies. They continue on their tour until Steven notices a man with a beard, wearing an Army jacket and riding around on a b…

One day, Leonardo DiCaprio, Steven Spielberg and Matthew McConaughey get together and decide to make a movie. DiCaprio says "I'll act." Spielberg says "I'll direct." McConaughey says "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write."

Steven Spielberg walks into a barber "I'll have the director's cut!"

Steven Spielberg's Next Movie Steven Spielberg decides that he wants to make a movie about famous composers. He puts out a casting call.

A Chinese walks into a bar... A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.