A drunk man staggers into an empty church. He looks right. He looks left. When he spots the big crucifix in the middle, he makes his way down the center aisle, muttering under his breath. Finally, when he's right underneath it, he waves his bottle around and starts screaming at it. ""YOU! S'all YOUR fuggin' fault!"" he screams. ""I los' ma job, ma wife lef' me, ma kids ran 'way, and today ma dog died! Jus' you wait! I'ma come back with ma *shotgun* and give ya what for!"" And then he leaves, cur…

The Irish Nun and warm milk In a convent in Ireland , the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it. One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then, remembering a bottle of Irish Whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at Mother Superior's bed, they held the gla…

So there's this kid and he loves Tractors... So there's this kid, and he loves Tractors. Like, lots. He's got Tractor wallpaper with Tractor posters, Tractor bedsheets, his shelves are covered in Tractor models and he wear a denim jacket all covered in Tractor patches. And one day this kid (let's call him Dave) is walking home from school when he spies the new Crop-Master 5000, the most advanced Tractor in the world, sitting in the field near his house. Naturally Dave has to take a closer look. …

Real men lay eggs..... Shitfaced and happy, Jack comes home from the pub late one Friday evening. Not wanting to disturb his girl, who's already asleep, he creeps into bed beside her, gives her a peck on her cheek and falls asleep. When he wakes up, he finds a strange man standing at the end of his bed. To make matters even stranger, the man's wearing a long flowing white robe. ""Who the hell are you?"" Jack demands, ""and what are you doing in my bedroom?"" With a completely straight face, whic…