Lax Jokes

When I graduated from university, I struggled to find work. To make ends meet, I performed odd jobs - voiceover work, sold insurance, and even drove a cab in a city near the East Coast a few years back. One of the scariest things that happened was as I was driving around, I saw a teenagers' basketball game get pretty intense. One of the kids was arguing a call made by a few thugs - it was a bad idea from the start, the kid was outnumbered and what's worse is when the fight started escalating, on…

Why is America home to the majority of comedians? Lax pun control laws.

Ex-lax Did you know that all boxes of Ex-lax have been recalled? You can't buy Ex-lax anywhere. Really..I'm not shittin'.

I have erectile dysfunction, and I'm constipated. My doctor prescribed me Viagra and Ex-lax... Now I don't know if I'm coming or going!

Man at a motel in the middle of nowhere This joke is actually best heard in Hindi, let's see how well it does translated. A man is staying in a room at a motel at night in the middle of nowhere, on his way to a different city. Being the only establishment as far as the eye can see, let's just say the management is lax about basic upkeep and maintenance. As the man is lying in his moldy bed at night tossing and turning, he realizes the gas-station burrito he's had earlier is going to make a secon…

A little advice on poetry..... If you don't know if you like a poem or not just perform the ex lax test. See if it moves you

Two 80 year old men are driving down the road when they hear the Ex-Lax commercial end with the statement: ""It makes you feel young again."" John looks at Sylvester and says ""We need to pull over and get a bottle of that stuff!"" Sylvester agrees and the two old men pull over and get a bottle of Ex-Lax. They both take two tablespoons each and continue to drive. About one mile later Sylvester asks ""Well John do you feel young yet?"" ""No"" replies John. So they pull over and take four m…

The pilot and copilot are coming into LAX and they are nervous. Sweat pouring off their brows, they bring the 737 down quickly. As soon as the wheels touch they throw the engines into reverse, stand on the brakes as hard as they can and cry "Stop! Please stop!" The plane stops an inch from the end of the runway. The pilot says "That was the shortest runway I ever saw! And the copilot says "Yeah, but look how WIDE it is!"

The Pilot and the Flight Attendant. A Delta Airlines flight from LAX to JFK was in the cruise when the aircraft hit some heavy chop. The captain comes on the PA system to give the regular announcement for passengers to ""please fasten their seatbelts and refrain from using the restrooms at this time"

What's the bro-iest airport in the US? LAX

What do you call a former lacrosse player? Ex Lax.

What does Egyptian airport security have in common with Los Angeles airport security? Both have LAX security.

Your Mama's So Ugly they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty! 3945. Your Mama's So Ugly she's never seen herself 'cause the mirrors keep breaking!