Delta Airlines Jokes

D.E.L.T.A. Airlines Didn't Even Leave The Airport

Trans-continental blonde .... A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?' The agent replies, 'Just a minute.' 'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.

A strip club owner is lamenting about his dwindling business to his wife. A strip club owner is eating breakfast with his wife. He begins to cry. ""Honey, things are changing. Men just ain't spending money at titty bars like they used to."" ""Oh that can't be."" She responds. ""There are some things men will always go to a strip club for."" ""But honey, I've tried everything. They just seem disinterested these days."" He hangs his head in defeat, wiping tears from his eyes. His wife leans in to …

Delta Airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands on business trips. Anticipating some valuable testimonials the publicity department of the airline sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who used the special rates asking how they enjoyed their trip. Responses are still pouring in asking ""What trip?""

The Pilot and the Flight Attendant. A Delta Airlines flight from LAX to JFK was in the cruise when the aircraft hit some heavy chop. The captain comes on the PA system to give the regular announcement for passengers to ""please fasten their seatbelts and refrain from using the restrooms at this time"

If you had bought $1,000 worth of Lehman Brothers shares in 2007, a year later they would have been worth nothing. If you had purchased $1,000 worth of AIG shares in 2007, a year later they would have been worth around $30. If you had invested $1,000 in Delta Airlines in 2007, a year later it would have been worth around $49. If you had bought $1,000 worth of beer, drunk it all, then taken the empty cans to an aluminium recycling plant, you would have received $214. So based on the above statist…