Bach Jokes

Sylvester Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Dam, and Arnold Schwarzenegger So one day, Sylvester Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Dam, and Arnold Schwarzenegger were sitting together in a bar, kicking back, drinking a few brews, talking about life and talking about the roles they'd played in movies. As the three men talked, each was surprised to realize that all three of them had grown tired of playing the action hero- shooting the bad guys, pulling off life-threatening stunts, and getting the girl in the en…

So there's this school play... Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Arnold Schwarzenegger have to put on a play featuring their favorite musical composers. They each toil over who they will play, until the next day they meet. Stallone goes first. "I'll be Mozart" Next up is Chuck Norris. "I'll be Beethoven". Happy that no one picked his composer, Arnold announces "I'll be Bach".

The Terminator and his friends decided to go to a costume party dressed up as famous classical musicians. "I'll be Beethoven!", said one friend. "I'll be Mozart!", said the other friend. "I'll be Bach.", said The Terminator.

Why did Mozart kill his chicken? Because when he asked the chicken "Who's the best composer" the chicken said "Bach, Bach, Bach"

Terminator, RoboCop, & Optimus Prime are all together thinking of their next costume for Halloween... when RoboCop says "We should all be classical musical composers; I'll be..Beethoven!".   Optimus Prime agrees and says "alright - I'll be..Mozart!".   Terminator stands up and says "I'll be Bach!".

I bought a parrot at an auction... I bought a parrot at an auction, hoping that a companion might help me get through some tough times. The car ride home, the parrot had been quiet and an uneasy tension was building. Throughout the first night, my parrot remained quiet, but the next morning, I awoke to a machine-gun sequence of swear words, rude insults, and some of the dirtiest jokes I had ever heard. I was shocked, to say the least. In an attempt to correct the parrot's behavior, I would …

Why did Mozart kill his chickens? Because they were always saying, "Bach, Bach, Bach, Bach"

i've got a Liszt of great composer puns that's Haydn in my closet somewhere... i could look Bach there and read it to you, but i don't think you could Handel it.

Sylvester Stallone meets up with Jean Claude van Damme, Dolph Lundgren and Arnold Schwarzenegger at a pub. They get a round of drinks in and sit down at a table. “Thanks for coming guys” says Sly. “I’ve had this great idea for a movie about famous 18th Century composers and I wondered if you guys wanted in? I’m planning on playing Beethoven.” “I love the idea” says van Damme. “I’ve always wanted to portray Mozart”. “Yeah, I’m in” says Lundgren. “Cast me as Handel”. “What about you Arnold?” …

Why did Beethoven eat all of his chickens? Because when he asked them who the greatest composer was, they all responded “Bach, Bach, Bach!”

Why did Beethoven kill all of his chickens? They were going Bach, Bach, Bach!

Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked to play Mozart. Arnold Schwarzenegger has been offered the chance to play the role of Mozart in a new film. He read the script but was not impressed. So he told the producers 're-write it and I'll be Bach.'

Why didn't Bach attend Vivaldi's concert? He was baroque.

What kind of music do chickens like best? Bach!

i've got a Liszt of great composer puns that's Haydn in my closet somewhere... i could look Bach there and read it to you

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he was invited to a classical musician theme Halloween party? I'll be Bach.

Why did Mozart kill his chicken? Because when he asked the chicken ""Who's the best composer"" the chicken said ""Bach

Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?,"Because they kept saying ""Bach, bach bach""

Why did the thief killed himself after getting caught stealing instruments from an orchestra?,"He didn't have a safe Hayden place and couldn't Handel the thought of being sent Bach to prison.

Did you hear about the chicken who liked classical music?,"I swear it was all he talked about. He would go on and on. ""Bach, Bach Bach""!

Did you hear that the guys from ""The Expendables"" are doing a movie about classical composers?","Arnold Schwarzenegger has already signed up and said ""I'll be Bach.""

Did you hear that they're producing an action movie about a team of crime-fighting composers?,"They already approached Arnold Schwarzenegger about playing fellow Austrian Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, but he said ""no I'll be Bach!""

Did you hear that the Expendables cast is making a movie about classical composers?,"Arnold Schwarzenegger said ""I'll be Bach.""

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?,"All they said was, “Bach, Bach Bach …”

Why did Mozart hate chickens? Because they all they ever say is Bach! Bach! Bach!