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Golfer's Dilemma You are playing in a golf tournament and to your astonishment you are actually winning as you reach the 18th hole. With a one stroke lead over your final opponent, who also happens to be playing the final hole with you, you step up to the tee and hit a perfect 300 yard shot dead center fairway. Your opponent then steps up and shanks it directly into the woods. Being a person of great sportsmanship you help him look for his ball for 10 minutes before he finally says that he will

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3 Football fans go on holiday... Each supporting different teams one Hartlepool, one Liverpool and the other Arsenal. Their plane crashes in the middle of the ocean and each of them washes up on a desert island where there is nothing but a single sheep. They kill the sheep and use its wool for warmth until they get hungry. Hartlepool fan: ""I'm from hartlepool so i'll have the heart"" Liverpool fan: ""I'm from Liverpool so i'll have the liver"" Arsenal fan: ""Urm... I'm not hungry""

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There was a man who had three girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spent it. The first one went out and got a total makeover with the money. She got new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, ""I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much."" The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gave them to the man

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Dog Knows Baseball Trivia Man brings his dog to trivia night at the local bar.... ""How can your dog possibly compete if he can't talk?"" ""Oh, he can talk, watch this: Duke, which player was the first to hit 60 home runs in a season?"" ROOPH....ROOPH! ""C'mon man, he didn't say Ruth, he just barked."" ""Oh yeah, well then listen to this: Duke, who called his shot in the 1932 World Series?"" ROOPH!....ROOPH!! ""Are you serious? Dude, he's just barking. He didn't say Ruth!"" ""Okay, this will con

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A guy is riding his bike... He's carrying a bag in each hand so he has trouble keeping his balance. After a couple of minutes he finally falls over and drops both bags. One of them breaks open and reveals a lot of five dollar bills. A police officer sees this and comes over to help. As he sees the bag full of money, he gets suspicious and asks: ""Where did you get all that cash?"" The guy says: ""Well, I own a garden next to a tennis court and during breaks people often go there to take a piss.

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Heaven and Hell decide to schedule a baseball tournament... During one of their meetings to determine the time and place of the games, Lucifer quietly turns to Saint Peter.   ""Hey, we haven't told God about this yet, but we've got a betting pool going downstairs on who's going to win the tournament. Just about everyone is betting on Hell to win, even a bunch of the angels!""   Saint Peter looks back at him, shocked. ""How can that be? We have all of the greatest baseball playe

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Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man answers the phone, puts it on speaker, and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: ""Hello"" WOMAN: ""Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"" MAN: ""Yes."" WOMAN: ""I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"" MAN: ""Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."" WOMAN: ""I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 201

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A woman gave birth to a child who had no body. Her son was just a head. When the child was eight years old, he would sit on the window sill everyday, watching the other kids play football. He would ask his mom everyday, ""Can I play football with the other children?"" His mom always had the same reply: ""You can't play football because you don't have a body."" One day, the kid asked his mom, ""Will I ever get a body?"" ""Pray everyday to God, and you might be granted a body,"" she told him. Ever

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A ten story building is on fire. A crowd of people is gathering below to watch, but the building is really in trouble. Just when it seems like everyone is out and the building is about to collapse, a woman sticks her head out of the window on the top story. She has a baby in her arms. ""Help! Help!"" She cries. ""Someone save my baby! Someone save my baby!"" A man steps out of the crowd. Tall, burly, and majestic, he calls up to the woman. ""Ma'am, my name is Rob Gronkowski, I'm a professional f

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A rice cake and a soccer ball go to the beach... The rice cake decides to go for a swim while his friend sunbathes for a bit. The rice cake swims around and eventually joins his friend on the shore. The soccer ball looks at the rice cake and says ""Hey you're wet, you should dry off!"" to which the rice cake complies. He takes off the towel after a few minutes which causes the soccer ball to again state ""Hey really man you need to dry off"" to which the minorly annoyed rice cake agrees to do. A

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