Me: "This new flavour of Pringles is horrible." Wife: "You're eating a tube of tennis balls."

To the woman that told her husband to "bite my ballsack" at the store today,I golf clapped because you won life.

Sometimes when my wife tells me she loves me I get the feeling it's the tennis kind.

""Oh my god,"" said my wife, smiling, ""our boy's...kicking."" I said, ""Yes, that's generally how football works.""