To the woman that told her husband to "bite my ballsack" at the store today,I golf clapped because you won life.

Sometimes when my wife tells me she loves me I get the feeling it's the tennis kind.

""Oh my god,"" said my wife, smiling, ""our boy's...kicking."" I said, ""Yes, that's generally how football works.""

Why do tennis players never get married? Because Love means nothing to them.