Q&A Jokes

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves. Just kidding. He hasn't opened it yet.

why do jewish men get circumcisions? because jewish women wont touch anything that isn't 10% off...

How Do You Circumcise a Redneck? Kick his sister in the chin.

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Man, I wish I had paid for all that music...

A 95 year old man and a 93 year old woman file for divorce. Lawyer: Why divorce now after all this time together? Woman: We wanted to wait until the kids were dead.

How can you tell a mechanic has gotten lucky? He's got one clean finger!

what's 6 inches long 2 inches wide and drives a woman wild? money

A guy calls 911 Guy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Guy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Guy: The ugly one is winning.

Do you know the Pistorious drinking game? Every time your girlfriend comes into the room you take four shots.

How do you know if a redneck girl is a virgin? See if she can run faster than her brothers.

All blonde women gets together and try to prove that they are smart So all the blonde women get together and decide that they have to prove that they are smart. They call all the blond women in their town for a convention. They also called news papers and a math professor from a local University. The professor have picked out one blonde and ask her a question in order to prove their smartness. He calls one blonde up to the front and begins. Professor: What is 150*4? Blonde: 823 Blonde Crowd…

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Again with the victim blaming, jerk? Don't tell us to change the lightbulb, tell the lightbulb to not need changing.

Why do chickens sit on eggs? Because they don't have any chairs. Source: my five-year-old.

Why do Jewish men get circumcised? Because Jewish women love anything 20% off.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. She holds it up to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.

Does this subreddit like jokes about sodium? "Na"

Why does Mexico never get gold medals in olympics? Because all their swimmers, runners, and high jumpers are in USA.

Why should you stand in a corner when you are cold? Because corners are *90* *degrees*

Hi, how much for this torture device? Sir, that's a wedding ring.

What did the two vegan strangers say to each other? Nothing. They didn't meat.

How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Not sure, first they have to figure out which way to spin it.

First dirty joke my dad told me, it's about 30 years old and I still tell it. What's the difference between a lady in church and a lady in a bathtub? The lady in church has hope in her soul.

What kind of bees make milk? What kind of bees make milk? Boobies.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at the pre-school? He woke up.

How do you get a fat girl into bed? Piece of cake! Edit: Holy shit I didn't even realize it was my cake day. Woah