Oscar Jokes

Ironic! That even if Oscar pistorious is found not guilty .He still won't walk free

*Leonardo Dicapreo goes up to accept oscar* *pulls out speech* *blows dust off of it* Yes I'd like to thank the directors of titanic for th-

Anyone else think they should limit Oscar acceptance speeches to 140 characters like Twitter?

And the Oscar goes to.................................... Court for killing his girlfriend.

I'm interested to find out what the police have Oscar Pistorius's height listed as.

Can someone help me, I can't remember,,, Did Sarah Jessica Parker get an Oscar for Sea Biscuit?

Come And Visit Often Pardon Me For Not Getting Up - I Feel Like Lying Down Gone Fishing - Permanently Don't Come In Yet - Wait Til Later Now Is Not The Time To Ask Me Again There Is Always Lots Of Room Here If You Can't Say Anything Nice About Me Then Leave Forever A Mess I Must Confess In The Beginning I Was Small, Now I Am Nothing At All If You Can't Beat 'Em, You'll Join Them Here The Only Regrets I Have Are Those Things I Didn't Do Time Waits For No One But I Wouldn't Have Minded A Bit Of A …

If a cat won an Oscar what would he get? An a-cat-emy award.

A Tale of Two Fleas A flea had oiled up his little flea legs and his little flea arms, had spread out his blanket, and was proceeding to soak up the Miami sun, when who should stumble by on the beach but an old flea friend of his. “Oscar, what happened to you?” asked the flea, because Oscar looked terrible, wrapped up in a blanket, his nose running, his eyes red, and his teeth chattering. “I got a ride down here in some guy’s mustache and he came down here by motorcycle. I nearly froze my win…

I bet if Leornardo DiCaprio has a kid... he names it Oscar so he can finally have one.

Positive... James finds a friend whom he hasn't spoken with for a long time, so to be nice, he breaks the ice: " -Hey Oscar, how are you doing?" " -Terrible." " -What?! What about your Ferrari?" " -Wrecked in an accident... and the insurance had just expired." " -Well, you win some, you lose some... And what about your son, the intelectual one?" " -He was the one driving the Ferrari. Died upon impact." " -But what about your beautiful daughter, didn't she say she wanted to be a model or …

LEONARDO DECAPRIO WINS AN OSCAR... ... oh wait, it's not a joke this time.

Oscar If you're Leonardo, you must have got it by now.

Freddy the Flea Freddy The Flea Freddy the Flea is laying out in the sun in Miami Beach, putting suntan lotion on his little flea arms, and on his little flea legs, when he notices his buddy Oscar stumbling down the beach. Oscar is a mess, he’s shivering, disheveled, and looks like 9 miles of bad road. “Holy shit Oscar, what happened?” asks Freddy. Oscar says, “You won’t believe it Freddy, I just rode all the way down from New York on some biker’s mustache, and I damned near froze my ass o…

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot India Foxtrot Yankee Oscar Uniform Charlie Alpha

The Art of Singing One day little Oscar went to visit his grandparents in their new home.

La La Land wins Oscar in Best Picture But Moonlight won the popular vote

And the Oscar goes to... Jail.

Oscar If you're Leonardo

We should probably stop all the 'Leo never won an Oscar' jokes... ...it's now irrevenant.

Did you hear about Oscar Pistorius' home improvements? He wants a new bathroom door

My friend Oscar told a joke to Leo Di Caprio. He didn't get it.

My friend Oscar met Leonardo DiCaprio and told him a joke. He didn't get it.

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he saw this year's Oscar nominees?,"All white, all white all whiiiiiiiite...

Did you hear about Oscar Pistorius' home improvements?,"He wants a new bathroom door but his girlfriend's dead against it