Elmo: Oscar, why are you a grouch? Oscar: Growing up, my parents were- *stabs Elmo with broken beer bottle* CUZ I LIVE IN A TRASHCAN.

SOLDIER: Yankee Oscar Uniform Romeo Foxtrot Lima Yankee India Sierra Delta Oscar Whiskey November CAPTAIN: Lima Oscar Lima!

A man and hs dog sit at the bar.... ...bartender says ""sorry, but no dogs allowed at the bar"". The gentleman responds ""no no, you don't understand, this is a TALKING dog, he should definitely be allowed to sit at the bar"" ""Talking dog you say"" says the bartender, stroking his chin. ""Prove it"" ""Okay! Hey Oscar, what sound does a dog make?"" ""WOOF WOOF"" replies Oscar the dog. ""Okay, what is on top of a house?"" ""ROOF, ROOF"" replies Oscar again. The bartender at this point just says "…

LPT: Learn the military alphabet Please learn it. It'll save you so much time on the phone. Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo, Foxtrot, Golf, Hotel, India, Juliet, Kilo, Lima, Mike, November, Oscar, Papa, Quebec, Romeo, Sierra, Tango, Uniform, Victor, Whiskey, X-Ray, Yankee, and Zulu. Ever tried to spell something out and the other person mixes around letters? SNot F, S! S as in Sam! That doesn't work. Sierra, Echo, November, Delta, November, Uniform, Delta, Echo, Sierra. Works like a charm. ED…