Kermit Jokes

What's long, green and smells like pork? ""Kermit the frogs fingers""

Kermit and Miss Piggy never married. He has Kermitment issues.

A Kermit the frog goes to get a loan at a bank. He gets to the counter and states his request to the teller, Mrs. Whack. Mrs. Whack: ""Can you give a down payment or give us something to hold until your debt is paid off?"" The frog puts a tiny pink elephant on the counter in front of her. Mrs. Whack is very confused. Kermit: ""My father, Mick Jagger is friends with the manager. Go ask him if he will accept it."" So Mrs. Whack goes to the manager with the request and the pink elephant. Manager: "…

(JOKE).""KERMIT THE FROG"" vanndukeandsammy sammy:what is kermit the frog favorite food?....vann duke: I don't know,tell me what is kermit the frog favorite food?....sammy:french flies!

Kermit Jagger walks into a bank and walks up to the teller, Patricia Whack and asks for a loan. The teller asks for something as collateral. Kermit produces a tiny porcelain elephant. The teller doesn't understand so Kermit asks to see the manager. The manager comes out and looks at Kermit and the tiny porcelain elephant. Patricia asks the manager what to do with the elephant? Manager says ""it's a knick-knack Paddy Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone!""

Kermit Jagger needs a loan. Kermit Jagger needed to take out a large loan, so he went to his bank and met with a banker named Patricia Wack. Patricia asked, ""Do you have something you can offer as collateral?"" Kermit responded by placing a little porcelain figurine on the desk. Patricia was not impressed, but she went to her manager to explain the situation. The manager laughed, and replied, ""It's a knick knack, Patty Wack, give the frog a loan! His old man's a Rolling Stone!""

CLASSIC VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold. MODERN VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and la…

What do you get if cross a frog with some mist ? Kermit the Fog !

Why doesn't Kermit the Frog like elephants ? They always want to play leap frog with him

What do you have if you have one fuzzy, green ball in one hand and another fuzzy, green ball in the other hand? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention.

A frog walks into a bank to get a loan... He goes up to the lady behind the counter, and noticing her name tag, the frog says, "Hi, Mrs. Whack. I'd like to take out a loan." She says "Well I don't know. We don't normally give out loans to frogs." The frog says "Well, I want a loan." She says "alright, well what's your first name?" "Kermit." Laughing, the woman says "No way. You're not *Kermit the Frog*." "No, I'm not. But I'm named after him," says the frog. "And your last name?" "J…

Dark jokes 1. Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is 2. What's the worst part about breaking up with a japanese person? You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message 3. What did kermit the frog say at Jim henson's funeral? Nothing 4. What's white on top and black on the bottom? Society 5. What's the difference between john wayne and jack daniels? Jack daniels is still killing indians 6. Penn State moved the Jerry Sandusky statue to the library. When yo…

The Ant and the Grasshopper CLASSIC VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold. MODERN VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The …

A frog walks into a bank A frog wearing a business suit walks into a bank and goes to stand in line to wait for a teller. When it is his turn, he approaches the bank teller, whose name is Patricia Whack (don't laugh), and says "Hello, Miss, my name is Kermit Jagger, and I would like to take out a loan." Miss Whack, after shaking off her surprise, manages to keep a straight face and her professional demeanor. "Very well. What would you like to offer as collateral for your loan, to ensure that…

If James Hetfield officiated Kermit and Miss Piggy's wedding... He'd be a Pastor of Muppets!

What did Kermit say after Jim Henson died? Nothing.

If Lars Ulrich of Metallica provided religious support to Kermit and his friends He'd be a pastor of muppets

What's green and smells like pork? Kermit the Frog's finger

What's green and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs middle finger

What's green and smells like bacon? Kermit the frog's finger

What do Harry Potter and Kermit the frog have in common? Hogwarts

If you have have a small green ball in one hand and another small green ball in the other, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's full attention.

What is Green...and Smells Like Pork? What is Green...and Smells Like Pork? Kermit the Frog's Finger!!

Why can't Kermit and Miss Piggy count to one hundred?,"Because every time they get to 69 Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat.

What did Kermit the Frog say after Jim Henson died? Nothing.