Italy Jokes

What body of water separates Italy from the word 'goodbye'? River Derci. Sorry.

Why are there no jehovah's witnesses in Italy? The mafia doesn't like witnesses.

What do you call a sketchy neighbourhood in Italy?? A Spaghetto.

What's the most popular occupation in Italy? Pastatution.

France and Italy Go to War. Who Wins? Neither. France Surrenders, and Italy Changes Sides.

What do you get when you're sick in Italy? Pox Romana

What's a bigamist? It's a large fog in Italy

Why did italy cross the road? To switch sides

France and Italy are in a battle against each other. Who wins? Neither. France surrenders and Italy switches sides.

A woman was going to Italy on a ten-day business trip. Before leaving, she asked her husband if there was a present he wanted her to bring back. "How about an Italian girl?" he laughed. The suggestion was met with stony silence. Ten days later, she returned home and he asked her whether she'd had a good trip. "Yes, it was surprisingly enjoyable," she replied. "And where's my present?" he smiled. "What present?" "The one I asked for – an Italian girl." "Oh, that! I did what I could; now we have t…

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a post card,…

At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Toronto , they have weekly husband's marriage seminars. At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years. Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, 'Wella, I'va tried to treat her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!" The…

An American attorney had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy, when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked, "Is it true that a person can fall down on a sidewalk in your county and then sue the Landowners for lots of money?" Told that it was true, the lawyer turned to his partner and started speaking rapidly in Italian. When they stopped, the American attorney asked if they wanted to go to America to practice law. "No, no," one replied, "We want to go to America and fall do…