Giuseppe Jokes

Two Italians... ..walking do the street one hot day. Giuseppe and his friend Alfredo has been walking for a while when Alfredo turns to Giuseppe and says ""Eya, Guiseppe. We'va been walking for a long time now and I'ma thirsty"" They have no water with them, so Giuseppe looks around. Over the road he sees a house and outside the house is a pint of milk. ""Alfredo, you seya the house?"" ""Si"" replies Alfredo ""I seya the house"" ""See by the house, is a pint of milk?"" Giuseppe asks ""Si, I seya…

Some things make Italian mothers telepathic Giuseppe excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, 'Just for fun, Mama, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry.' The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house, sits them down on the couch & they chat for a while. He then says, 'Okay, Mama, guess which one I'm going to marry?' Mama says immediately, 'The one on the rig…

St Peter and heaven joke perfect for Feb. 2nd Three Italians, Luigi, Mario and Giuseppe, go to heaven. Saint Peter stops them at the gate and tells them they have to take a test before they can enter heaven. ""You must tell me about Easter."" St. Peter says. Luigi steps up. (All speaking in the typical Italians accent) ""I know all about Easter. That's when this big a fat a guy brings toys to all kids"" St. Peter's says ""not even close off to purgatory for you"" Mario steps up. ""Mario knows al…

Did you hear Giuseppe went to the bowling alley last night? Ebola perfect game!

At Saint Mary's Catholic Church they have a weekly husband's marriage seminar. At the session last week, the Priest asked Giuseppe, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years. Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, 'Wella, I've a-tried to treat-a her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of alla is, I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!' The Priest respon…

a nice Italian couple . . . At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Toronto, they have weekly husbands' marriage seminars. At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years. Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, 'Wella, I'va tried to treat her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka her to Italy…

Some things make Italian mothers telepathic Giuseppe excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, 'Just for fun, Mama, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry.' The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house, sits them down on the couch & they chat for a while. He then says, 'Okay, Mama, guess which one I'm going to marry?' Mama says immediately, 'The one o…

WW1 is in full swing. On the Alps, Italians are decimating Austrian snipers with a trick... The Austrian HQ meets to discuss the matter. Nobody has a clue, until a young officer comes forward with a dossier. "Herr General, I 'zink I found how 'ze Italians are killing all our snipers. 'Zey found out 'zat most common name among our troops is Fritz. 'Zo Italian sniper gets in pozition, yells "FRITZ!" and dumb Fritz pokez his head out and goes "Ja?" and BLAM, Italian sniper shootz him dead!" "Kow…

A guy walks into a bar in Italy and goes "can I get a shot?" The bartender goes "Yes. Giuseppe, shoota this man."

Some things make Italian mothers telepathic Giuseppe excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married.

What do you call an Italian with erectile dysfunction? Floppy Giuseppe

At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Toronto , they have weekly husband's marriage seminars. At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years. Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, 'Wella, I'va tried to treat her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!" The…