Hitler Jokes

OLD MAN: I fought in WWII ME: Oh yeah? What was your kill:death ratio OLD MAN: what ME: Can you rocket jump? OLD MAN: I wish Hitler had won

"Hitler, no Hitlering!" said Dora. But it was too late.

If you're not singing "Hitler Baby one more time" to the tune of Britney Spears' "Hit Me Baby One More Time" I'm sorry but you are now.

23rd Century Scientist: We're sending you to 1889 to kill baby Hitler. Four words: Stick. To. The. Mission. Henry Ford: Yes, sir.

[breakfast in hell] STALIN: Toast is burnt POL POT: Eggs are rotten HITLER: I hate the juice STALIN: Oh here we go HITLER: I said JUICE

Hitler walks into a restaurant... Adolf walks in to a restaurant and states, ""I'm hungry!"" The owner asks, ""Well, what do you want to eat?"" Hitler replies with, ""As long as it's *not-sea*food, I'm sure I'll love it!""

What is the difference between Hitler and a gay person 90 degrees

My grand dad died in a consentration camp... John and Heimler took the night train, they were going to this awsome party, and were really drunk. John liked to joke around using the name Hitler in every sentence, to Heimlers irritation. After a while Heimle stood up and yelled ""ENOUGH JOHN!!!"" scaring the man white. ""Did you know my grand dad died in a concentration camp during world war II John?"" Said Heimler very angry towards John. John knew at this instant that he had hurt Heimler's feeli…

As a Jew, I have heard many Jewish jokes, here are a few... Why do Jews have big noses? because air is free... Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? Pizza's don't scream in the oven.... What's faster than a speeding bullet? A Jew with a coupon... How many Jews can you fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and 6 million in the ash tray... Why did Hitler kill himself? he saw his gas bill... Why did Moses split the red sea? He saw a nickle at the bottom... If you all have any I f…

Hitler walks into a room... [NSFW] (sorry if repost) ...and says to his staff, ""I want you to organise the execution of 10,000 Jews and 1 kitten."" Everyone looks around the table and after a long silence, Goering pipes up, ""Mein Fuhrer, why do you want to kill a kitten?"" Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table, ""You see, no one cares about the Jews.""

What's the difference between George W. Bush and Hitler? Hitler was an evil *genius*.

Breaking news In an exclusive interview, Hitler tells our reporter that the final solution was all a big misunderstanding, he claims he said: 'I want concentrated juice'

What's common between Hitler and Taco Bell Both are responsible for gassing lots of people. _________ Source: http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/skeh8/taco_bell_on_420/c4eqbvj?context=2

Three Clowns In the days just before he began his reign of terror in Nazi Germany, Hitler was talking to one of his few close friends. ""I have this great idea, called the Final Solution. I'm going to kill all of the Jews in the world, and three clowns."" His friend looks at him, a bit puzzled, and says, ""Well, Hitler, I guess I'm a little confused as to where the three clowns factor in to all of this."" ""See!"", exclaimed Hitler. ""No one cares about the Jews!""

A man is in court, asking to legally change his name... The judge asks him why he desires the name change. ""My name is Dungly Santorum"" he says ""Oh....well, that's understandable. What would you like to change it to?"" ""Dungly Hitler"".

You can say many bad things about Hitler... ...but the showers joke was pretty good.

I heard you like jewcy jokes... Hitler is visiting a concentration camp and he examines the prisoners. They are lined up and they listen all to the Hitlers speech. Suddenly somebody sneezes. Hitler goes to the first row and asks:""Who did this?"" Nobody responses. First row gets executed. Hitler goes to the second row and asks:""Who did this?"" Still nobody responses. Second row gets executed. Hitler goes to the third row and asks again:""Who did this?"" After some moments of silence one prisone…

High times in the Holocaust Hitler and his SS troops were gathered at Auschwitz, standing around outside in a circle, passing a big ol' fat blunt between themselves. One of the Jews walks up to try to get in the rotation, but all the Nazis ignore him. ""Hey guys, don't bogart that spliff!"" the Jew said ""Don't worry, little Jew,"" Hitler said, ""You're about to get totally baked in like ten minutes!"" (original)

Knock Knock... Knock Knock. Who's There? Hitler. Hitler Who? YES! The time machine was a success! Knock Knock. Who's There? David Hasslehoff. David Hasslehoff, who? YES, TWO BIRDS ONE STONE! Now i'm not saying that David Hasslehoff is a nazi, but he is a charismatic leader who's led the german people astray. -&y (by me! go try it on someone!)

Go back in time and kill Hitler as a baby. He'd be so freaked out that a baby is trying to murder him, you'll have the element of surprise.

Why didn't Hitler drink? It made him mean.

What do you call it when Hitler pees? Fuhrenating.

Polish remover Hitler. The game Sequence has a wicked sense of humor.

You can say what you like about Hitler... ...at least he killed Hitler.

God damn it! I said ""glass of juice"" not ""gas the jews"". -Hitler