Hitler Jokes

The *real* reason Hitler lost the war. He forgot to put speed limits on his highways so the enemy vehicles could drive as fast as they wanted to.

What did hitler say when the jews escaped aw shwitz!

Why was Hitler a great comedian? Cuz you can't spell slaughter without laughter

One sunny day in Auschwitz Hitler was standing in front of a big pit. Nervously, in line in front of him, few hundred jews were standing. Hitler would call one by one, and give orders to them... Feet together, spread your arms in 90 angle... As soon as he complied Hitler pushed him in to a pit. Second came, and was given order: Touch your feet with hands. Again, after he complied Hitler pushed him in to a pit. Third had to knee down and put his hands in front of him. And just as he was shouting …

What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can actually finish off a race

Why wasn't Hitler invited to the picnic? Because he burnt all the Franks.

What is the difference between Donald Trump and Adolf Hitler? Hitler had big hands

A little jewish girl was playing with an ashtray... Hitler comes in and says: ""Are you looking for someone?""

How come Donald Trump is on the frontpage of Reddit so much? Its all reposts from Hitler

Kim Yong Il, Stalin and Hitler have their personal hell... ...which consists of a swamp that will let you sink deeper the more lies you spread during your time as a leader. Kim Yong Il is buried till his waist. Stalin is buried till his chest. Hitler is standing upright above them all, barely sunken in till his ankles with a big grin on his face. Stalin asks: ""What are you laughing, fachist?!"" Kim says: ""How come you didn't sink in much?"" Hitlers grin grew from ear to ear as he sneakily said…

Hitler was born on April 20th... cuz he was destined to blaze the jews.

It's recently come to light that Hitler didn't like oranges. He hated the juice!

How is Trump different from Hitler? Unlike Hitler Trump wants to round up every Juan. Edit : No offence to Trump supporters or anyone!

Why did the blind man become Hitler? Because he could **Nazi.** *(disclaimer may have to read aloud for joke to occur, if laughing occurs for more than 4 seconds please contact your doctor)*

How does Hitler separate his juice? By concentrate.

I think Hitler was gay. After all, he sure loved licking the poles.

Hitler was argueably the greatest person that ever lived... I mean he did kill Hitler

I hate when people say Hitler did nothing wrong afterall he did commit suicide...

What did Hitler say when the Allies landed on Normandy? Dang, I did Nazi that coming.

Hitler has heard that the Americans have liberated Normandy Hitler: It's over Eva. Everything's a disaster. We might as well call this Disaster Day. Eva: Why not just call it D-Day?

You know what they say about Hitler? He was this tall and he lived over there.

In terms of sausages... Hitler was the wurst.

Why didn't Hitler participate in the marathon? ... Because he can't finish a race.

Soviet Joke After Stalin's death, the Soviet nation decided to get rid of him once and for all and bury him as far away as possible. They set up a special commission. The commission turned to the British government with the request that they make available a plot in a British cemetery. ""Well,"" replies the British government, ""we do already have Karl Marx in England . . . Two such great masters in the one cemetery . . . That would be overdoing it a bit. . ."" So they tried the Germans. ""Well,…

What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Phelps can finish a race