Wife: He's always rewriting the past.. Therapist: is this true? Me: [doesn't hear because I'm typing 'Shrek killed Hitler' into Wikipedia]

Great Russian joke Four mothers; German, Italian, French, and Russian are in a maternity ward ready to pick up their babies. It just so happens, the nurse doesn't know which baby is which. So the Italian mother walks up to a crib and takes out a slice of pizza. One of the babies moves its hands forward. ""That's mine"" says the Italian mother and picks it up. Next, the German mother walks up and says ""Heil Hitler."" Immediately, one of the babies makes a Nazi salute and the German mother picks …

The three fathers A jew, a turkish and a german guy are all waiting in the hospital, while their wifes are giving birth to their sons. Through a mistake in the hospital, the three babies get confused and none of them knows which one is his. The german guy says: ""No problem dudes, I got this"" and walks into the room with the babies. Three minutes later, every father is holding his son in hands. The other two ask: ""How did you do that!?"" ""Easy"", said the german, ""I came in and yelled 'Heil …

The doctor and four babies. A nurse who was taking care of 4 babies: a Jewish baby, a German baby, an American baby and a Mexican baby. Unfortunately she got them mixed up and had no idea how to tell them apart by just looking at them. She asked the doctor to help her out and the doctor told her to wait in the room when he went out to grab something. After a few minutes the doctor returned with a picture Hitler and started showing it to the babies. The German baby saluted the picture with a heil…