Donald Trump Jokes

Donald Trump has just announced his candidacy for president Sorry for putting the punchline in the title.

It's been reported that Donald Trump has recently found Jesus ... And had him deported.

How does Donald Trump plan on deporting millions of illegal immigrants? Juan by Juan

I don't see why people are outraged when Donald Trump says if Ivanka wasn't his daughter, he'd be dating her. After all, if Ivanka wasn't Trump's daughter, I'd date her too.

Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump? Because orange is the new black.

What do Donald Trump and the iPhone 7 have in common? They both think de-porting is the answer when there’s no more Jobs.

So the American people's choices for President will apparently be either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton. That is the joke. There's no punchline here.

What is the only reason Donald Trump is watching the Olympics? So he can determine how high Mexican pole vaulters can jump.

What happens when Donald Trump takes Viagra? He grows taller.

How's Donald Trump going to get rid of all the Mexicans? Juan by Juan.

America is going to suffer if Donald Trump becomes president. You could say they are going toupée for it.

Donald Trump has labelled Hillary Clinton "disgusting" for taking a bathroom break during the debate. Trump himself never has to go to the bathroom, as the shit just comes straight out of his mouth.   Edit: Thanks to everyone that found this joke funny. To all those I offended: Stop being offended by jokes on the internet ;) MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!   Edit: Spelling

Donald Trump is not a rapist. He's an "alternative romantic."

Why do Indians hate snow? Because it's white and settles on their land. Edit: well now I know what people mean by rip inbox. Edit2: wtf happened to my headline, why is it Donald trump?

Why does Donald Trump secretly want to lose the election? Because if he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.

Steve jobs would have been a better president than Donald Trump. But its a silly comparison really, its like comparing apples to oranges.

Avocado or Donald Trump?,"Avocado or Donald Trump for president? Well one is a wrinkly old bag filled with green mush The other one is an avocado.

What do you call the female version of Donald Trump? 🎺

What's the difference between Donald Trump and an oompa loompa?,"If you are wise you won't listen to him.

How can Donald Trump deport millions of illegal immigrants?,"By completely ignoring these are only campaign promises.

How do you know the economy is only getting worse?,"On the latest episode of ""Celebrity Apprentice" Donald Trump fired himself!

How does Donald Trump rile up his constituency at a rally?,"""Wall Mart workers of the world unite!!""

Why is r/Jokes like Donald Trump? Title: Why is like Donald Trump? Text: Because now I look at them both and say .

Why did Donald Trump pardon the Mexican pole vaulter who jumped over his wall?,"Trump: ""Well, he's like me in a lot of ways. He has to clear a bar that people think he can't go beyond, he stays up in the poles, and no matter if he does good or bad he always lands on his back on a cushy bed. He's wonderful. Or I should say ""Juan-derful."" I really should.""

What's does a photon and Donald Trump have in common?,"Both full of energy and momentum both lacking substance.