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Donald Trump Jokes

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton set aside their differences to talk to a group of third graders... So Hillary tells the students, "Today we are going to talk about the difference between a tragedy, a great loss, and an accident. Can anyone give me an example of a tragedy?" A little boy raises his hand and says, "If a kid runs out on the street after a ball and gets hit by a car?" Donald goes, "No, that would be an accident, can anyone else try?" A little girl raises her hand and says, "If a

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While visiting India , Donald Trump is invited to tea with Abdul Kalam. While visiting India , Donald Trump is invited to tea with Abdul Kalam. He asks Kalam what his leadership philosophy is. He says that, it is to surround himself with intelligent people. Trump asks how he knows if they're intelligent. "I do so by asking them the right questions," says Kalam. "Allow me to demonstrate. " Trump watches as Kalam phones Manmohan Singh and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this questi

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An airplane was about to crash with 4 passengers on board. An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes. The 1st passenger said, "I am Russell Westbrook and I'm averaging a triple double. The Thunder and my millions of fans need me, and I can't afford to die." So he took the 1st pack and left the plane. The 2nd passenger, Donald Trump, said, "I am the newly-elected US President, and I am the smartest President in American history, so my people don't

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Donald Trump answers the question: What is 2+2? "I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, 'What's 2+2?' And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my god, I can't believe it. Addition and subtraction of the 1s the 2s and the 3s. Its terrible. Its just terrible. Look, if you want to know what 2+2 is, do you want to know what 2+2 is?

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Smartest president ever A plane with 4 people on board suffers an engine failure. There are only three parachutes. The pilot stands up and says: „I’m Brad Pitt, my kids needs me, my fans needs me, I have to survive.“ he takes one of the parachutes and jumps out of the plane. The first passenger stands up and says: „I’m Donald Trump, I was the smartest president the US ever had and I’ll become the next president. My country needs me.“ He takes the second parachute and jumps out of the plane too.

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Bubba Once When Bubba got a new job, he says to his new boss, “Boss, I know everyone in the whole world!” His boss doesn't believe him, so he says “No you do not know everyone in the whole world.” Bubba says “Yes I do!” Bubba's boss says “Well prove it!” Bubba says “Pick someone and I know them!” Bubba's boss thinks for a minute and then comes up with a name. “Tom Selleck! I bet you don't know Tom Selleck!” Bubba says “Tom Selleck! Tom and I were in boy scouts together

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Donald Trump was walking through Manhattan and saw a long queue. Wondering what is was for, he joined it. People would look over their shoulder, see that is was Donald Trump behind them, and leave the queue, so he would proceed closer and closer to the front. As he was getting closer to the head of the queue, he asked one guy, who also looked and was about to walk away, "Wait a second, what is this queue for and why are you now leaving it?" The man said "This is the queue for Canadian Immig

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