Denise Jokes

RIP to that hoodie you left at your ex-gf's house. She says she has no idea what youre talkin about but she knows. Wheres my hoodie, Denise?

My Mother asked me to suggest names for my brother's prospective children. I said I'll name the girl 'Denise' and the boy 'Denephew'.

i love our new home. LA is such a safe place and- *a dog drives by holding a pistol playing tupac in an el camino* denise get in the car

Dentist switches lamp on: "Now open wide" Moth dental assistant: *repeatedly flies into bulb* Dentist: "This has to stop Denise"

A woman is pregnant with twins when she gets into a car accident... ...she wakes up in the hospital and the doctor says her twins have already been delivered, a boy and a girl. But since she wasn't around to name them, they had to ask her brother to give them legal names. The woman was worried, because her brother was a bit of an idiot. ""What did he name them?"" she asked. ""He named the girl Denise,"" the doctor said. ""Oh, that's a nice name,"" she said in relief. ""What did he name the boy?"…

Paddy's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant; frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, ""Ma'am, you had twins!..... A boy and a girl. The babies are fine now however they were poorly at birth and had to be christened immediately - your brother came in and named them. The woman thinks to herself, ""Oh suffering Jesus no, not me brothe…

So there was a pregnant lady who got in a car crash... She fell into a coma, but had her babies delivered safely. She wakes up shortly after her babies are delivered. Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl. Woman: Great! How are they doing. Doctor: They are perfectly healthy. We even let your brother name them. Woman: Oh no! My brother is an idiot! What are their names? Doctor: Your daughter is named Denise. Woman: Oh that's a nice name. What about my son? Doctor: His name is...Denephew.

What's in a name? A pregnant woman lapses into a coma. She awakens and frantically calls for her doctor. ""You had twins, a boy and a girl. They're fine,"" he says. ""Your brother named them."" Oh, no, the new mother thinks. He's an idiot. Expecting the worst, she asks, ""What's the girl's name?"" ""Denise,"" the doctor says. Not bad, she thinks. I guess I was wrong about him. ""And the boy?"" ""DeNephew.""

A pregnant woman got in a car accident and went into a coma. While in the coma, she gave birth to twins. 4 months later, she woke up asking where her kids were. The nurse informed her she had given birth to twins, a boy and a girl, and her brother has been taking care of them. The woman said "" Oh no, not my idiot brother, What did he name my daughter?"" "" Denise "" the nurse said. "" Oh, that's not bad. What about the boy? "" The nurse replied "" Da-nephew"". Edit: formatting

A woman passes out after giving birth to twins... She wakes up after two days and panics. ""Where are my babies?!"" she yells. ""Your babies are safe and healthy,"" the nurse says. ""You have been asleep for two days, and the hospital has a policy for naming newborns that says they need to be named within 24 hours of birth."" ""But I was passed out! Can't I name them now?"" ""We had to let your nearest relative, your brother, name them."" The woman freaks out, ""My brother! He's such an idiot!..…

A mother of twins went into labour and passed out. She woke up hours later to find her (not so bright) sister carrying her twins. Nervously the new mother asked her sister whether the children has been named. To which the sister replied yes. The new mother shocked and scared then asked the sister what she named the children to which she replied she named the niece Denise. The mother feeling a little better then asked what she had name the boy to which she replied Denephew.

A man's sister is giving birth, but she can't think of what to name it. So the man goes to his good friend and asks; ""what should my sister name her child?"" And his friend says, ""Denise."" The man asks, ""but what if her child is a boy?"" And his friend asks for some time to think. So the man waits a few days and then returns to his friend. He asks, ""have you thought of a name yet?"" ""Yes, Denephew.""

A pregnant woman gets into a car accident... ...and falls into a coma. Upon waking, she finds herself in the hospital and is informed by the doctor that she gave birth to twins (1 boy, 1 girl) while in the coma. Her brother was contacted and asked to name the two infants. ""Oh no,"" the woman groans. ""Why him? He's an idiot!"" ""We're sure you'll like the names, ma'am,"" says the doctor. The woman sighs. ""All right, what's the girl's name?"" ""Denise."" ""...Oh! That's not so bad after all."" …

A woman who is 3 months pregnant falls into a deep coma... 6 months later, she awakes and asks the doctor about her baby. Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine. Luckily, your brother named them for you. Woman: Oh no, not my brother! He's an idiot! What did he name the girl? Doctor: Denise. Woman: Well, that isn't so bad. And what did he call the boy? Doctor: Denephew. Edit: Denise

A pregnant woman goes into a coma... A pregnant woman goes into a coma 3 months into her pregnancy, 7 months later she wakes up and is told by the doctor she had successfully shit out twins. Due to her being in a coma, her brother was given permission to name them. ""Oh no, not my brother, he's an idiot! What are their names?"" ""The girls is called Denise"" ""Oh that's not so bad... What about the boy?"" ""Denephew""

A woman passes out during delivery When she wakes up, she asks the doctor if her baby is ok. ""Actually, you have twins, and they're just fine. You have a son and a daughter,"" the doctor said ""Oh, that's very nice. I guess I should name them right?"" said the woman. The doctor replied, ""Actually your brother already named them."" ""Oh no, that's not good. My brother is not very smart. What did he name the daughter?"" The woman was now worried. ""Denise."" ""Oh Denise, that's actually a pretty…

A pregnant woman from Washington D.C., gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up to find that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, ""Ma'am, you had twins: a boy and a girl! Your brother from Maryland came in and named them"" The woman thinks to herself, ""No, not my brother! He's an idiot!"" She asks the doctor, ""Well, what's the girl's name?"" ""Denise."" replied the doctor. ""Wow that…

So a woman is about to give birth... On her way to the hospital with her brother, she tells one of the doctors ""I have a medical condition that causes me to pass out if I experience extreme pain."" The doctor replies, ""You'll be fine, don't worry. You'll be at a hospital."" So as she starts to give birth, she passes out. When she comes to, she sees a nurse nearby. ""Nurse, where is my baby?"" ""Oh good, you're awake! The procedure went perfectly. You had twins! A little boy and a little girl."…

A woman is pregnant with twins. During her last month of pregnancy, she falls into a coma. When she wakes up, the doctor tells her that she had a girl and a boy, and that her brother claimed them until she came to. Immediately, she panics at the thought of her brother supervising her newborns. ""What did he name them?"" She asks anxiously. ""He named the girl Denise"", the doctor says. That's not too bad, she thought, relieved. ""What did he name my son?"" ""Denephew.""

Coma Pregnancy A woman is in an accident while she's pregnant. While in a coma she has twins, a boy & a girl. When she woke up she asked the doctor where her baby was. The doctor said she had twins but her brother named them. She replied,My brother is an idiot I wonder what names he gave them. Anyway what did he name the girl? ""Denise"", replied the doctor. That's not so bad.What about the boy?, she asked. ""Denephew""

A woman just had twins, a boy and a girl, and she hasn't decided yet what to name them. Coincidentally her long lost uncle from Russia has just come into town. The mother decides, because it's such a special occasion she should let her uncle name them. After hearing the news, the uncle stating 'what a special honor it is,' decides he needs some time to think of the perfect names. Finally he comes back with the 'perfect names'. First he says 'the girl will be called Denise'. 'Wow that's a great n…

A pregnant woman goes into a coma... She wakes up from her coma to a doctor standing over her bed. He says, ""There's good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first?"" She thinks for a minute then says, ""the good news, please."" ""You gave birth to boy and girl twins while you were in a coma. But the bad news is that your brother named them."" ""What did he name them?"" The doctor replies, ""the first one, a girl, he named Denise."" The woman was relieved and sighed. ""What's the bo…

Talking to my old man on the phone Dad: Who was that coughing in the background? Me : Oh, that was Denise. Dad: Oh, da' niece? I thought it was da' nephew. Buh dum tsssssssss

Naming the twins A pregnant Irish woman from Dublin is involved in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, ""Ma'am you had twins! a boy and a girl. Your Uncle from Cork came in and named them."" The woman thinks to herself, ""Oh No, not my Uncle... he's an idiot!"" She asks the doctor,""Well, what's the girl's name?"" ""Denise."" ""Wow, that…

A heavily pregnant Women and her husband are in a car crash They both fall into a coma and her twins are removed from the Mother's womb by c-section. 5 months later the Mother wakes up from the coma and sees her brother by her bedside. Immediately she remembers her pregnancy, 'are my babies ok?' She asks her brother. 'Yes they're absolutely fine, you had a boy and a girl and I have been caring for them' he exclaims. 'Have you named them?' the mother asks, 'Yes the girls name is Denise' 'And the …