Clinton Jokes

Obama, Clinton and Trump walk into a bar... Obama says, ""I love this suit I'm wearing today. $3,000 Armani. A man in the top job needs to know how to dress the part, and I think I've shown that in my presidency."" Then Clinton says, ""I love my dress, $75,000 Vutton. A woman with the right character for president needs to dress to impress. I think I've shown that I've got style enought for the oval office."" Trump turns around and says, ""whatever stupid, I was born with the best jeans.""

Say what you will about Clinton being a womanizer But Bush had the Twins go down on him.

Poles put Clinton 7 points ahead of Trump But Polish citizens don't get to vote Edit: Minor text change

How are Clinton scandals like Pokemon? You'll never catch them all.

Clinton is so crooked... She needs a Kaine for support. (Credit to: /u/medically)

Trump , Clinton, and Hitler are about to fall of a cliff. You only have time to save on of them. Tell me why you saved Hitler.

Obama, Clinton, and Trump are on a plane... .... Obama says, i can drop 1 $1,000 bill and make someone really happy! OK, Clinton says... I can drop 10 $100 bills and make 10 people really happy. I got you, Trump says... I can drop 100 $10 bills and make 100 people happy! The pilot pops his head around the corner and says ""I can drop one plane and make a 155 million people happy"".

Monica Lewinsky is voting for Donald Trump in the 2016 Presidential Election, because the last time a Clinton was in office, it left a bad taste in her mouth.

My girlfriend was going to take my last name when we get married... but now we're changing it to Clinton so we can get away with anything we want

Between Trump and Clinton, who is more likely to start a nuclear war if elected president? America, with the missiles aimed at ourselves.

Obama and Bush walk into a bar... ...Clinton ducked.

Why cant clinton stand straight? Because she is Crooked.

To all the Bernie supporters... This isn't the first time a Clinton has left a bad taste in someone's mouth.

Proof: Hillary Clinton Will Be A Great President ""She doesn't suck.""-Bill Clinton

Hillary Clinton and John McCain have a debate... I've seen a couple of versions of this joke but nothing recently on here - maybe I'm wrong.... Hillary Clinton and John McCain have a debate at a local college. During a break both go back for some coffee. Clinton, repulsed by McCain's over principled conservatism says ""Sir, if I was your wife, I'd put poison in your coffee"". McCain, appalled by Clinton's unbridled liberalism replies, ""Madam, if I was your husband - I would drink it!"".

If Clinton wins presidency, who will be First Lady? Monica Lewinsky

Phew, don't have to think of a catchy title today Why is Monica so exited for the next Clinton presidency? This time she won't have to swallow.

What do you call a Clinton with no legs? Doesn't matter. She won't come. Edit: oops, wrong type of Bitch.

Why won't Monica Lewinsky be voting for Hillary? Because the last Clinton presidency left a very bad taste in her mouth.

Trump, Clinton and Sanders were all captured by terrorists They were set to be executed one by one by a firing squad but they thought of a plan on how to escape. First to be executed was Sanders, Sanders shouted ""Hailstorm!!"" While the terrorists were panicking, Sanders escaped. Next was Clinton, Clinton shouted ""Tornado!!"" While the terrorists were panicking, Clinton escaped. The last was Trump, Trump shouted ""Fire!!"" The terrorists followed and shot Donald Trump.

What's the best thing about a Trmp versus Clinton election? One of them has to lose.

Bernie Sanders walks into a bar. The bartender looks over and says ""Mr. Sanders! Drinks on me. I really hope you win. Imagine another Clinton in the White House? It would be a circus!"" Bernie replies ""Bill didn't run a circus, he ran affaire!""

A black man visited my white predominated neighborhood, and the local police went crazy Luckily, nobody was hurt. The cops behaved well controlled. And the black dude left peacefully, only with a few words about supporting Clinton.

Yet another Clinton picks heads Over tail.

4 former presidents walk into a bar Clinton gets a new STD