Chuck Jokes

In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a very generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.

The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.

The active ingredient in Red Bull is Chuck Norris's sweat.

Chuck Norris' prostate has eaten dozens of doctor's middle fingers.

Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, ""Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!"" The mere mention of his name cured this mans blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

Whoever said ""only the good die young"" was probably in Chuck Norris's kindergarten class.

when chuck Norris went to find Bigfoot, Bigfoot copied him self to escape from chuck

""Let the Bodies Hit the Floor"" was originally written as Chuck Norris' theme song.

The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.

What is Chuck Norris' ""best karate move""? Pork Chop!

Knock Knock Who's there ? Chuck ! Chuck who ? Chuck in a sandwich for lunch

eer booze and fun!' 'WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher handsomer and smarter than some really really big guy named Chuck.

This used to be my mother's favorite joke, maybe still is. A farmer has three daughters who all have a date on the same night. The first guy comes to pick up his date and says "Hi, I'm Joe. I came to get Flo. We're gonna go to the show, can she go?" The farmer calls Flo down and they leave. The second guy shows up: "Hi, I'm Eddie. I came to get Betty. We're gonna go get spaghetti, is she ready?" the farmer calls Betty down and they go. The third guy shows up: "I'm Chuck. I came in my truc…

There were 3 Chinese men... Han, Chan and Fan were planning on migrating to the USA. They all wanted to assimilate as quickly as possible, so they decided to adopt more traditional American sounding names. Han decided that he would be Huck. Chan decided that he would be Chuck. And Fan...well Fan decided that he`d stay in China.

The Farmer's Daughters Farmer Brown had 3 lovely daughters. The daughters announce to their father they are going out on dates that night. Farmer Brown agrees under the condition that he gets to talk to each of the young men first. The first young man knocks on the door and Farmer Brown answers the door with his shotgun and says, "What is your business young man?" to which the young man replies, "My name is Eddie, I'm her for Betty, we're going to have spaghetti, is she ready?" The farmer decid…

A young man named Chuck bought a horse from a farmer for $250. A young man named Chuck bought a horse from a farmer for $250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up to Chucks house and said, ‘Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.’ Chuck replied, ‘Well, then just give me my money back.’ The farmer said, ‘Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.’ Chuck said, ‘Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse.’ The farmer asked, ‘What ya g…

There's 3 chinese brothers... Bu, Chu, and Fu and they want to illgally sneak into America. So they decide to change their names to sound more American. Bu, changes his to Buck. Chu, changes his to Chuck. And Fu, got sent back to China.

Young Chuck One fine old day, Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.' Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.' The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.' Chuck said, 'OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.' The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him? Chuck said, 'I'm going to ra…

Chuck Norris jokes When Chuck Norris' code throws exceptions, it's across the room. Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin. Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. And then the grenade exploded. When Chuck Norris goes into a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off. Feel free to add more. Shamelessly stolen from the internet.

There was an old farmer with three beautiful daughters... They each had a date, so on the porch he would wait to ask the men some questions. With his shotgun nearby up came the first guy and introduced himself to the farmer. "Hello, my name is Joe, I'm here for Flo to see a show, is she ready to go?" The farmer gave a sigh and waved goodbye as the second date had arrived. "My name is Eddie, I'm here for Betty to go eat spaghetti, is she ready?" With another sigh he waved goodbye …

Three Chinese went to America.. Three Chinese named Chu, Bu, and Fu went to America. Upon reaching there they decided to Americanise their names. So Chu became Chuck, Bu became Buck.. And Fu decided to return to China.

How to Sell a Dead Donkey Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day the farmer drove up and said, 'Sorry Chuck, but I have some bad news The donkey died.' Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.' The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.' Chuck said, 'OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.' The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with a dead donkey? Chuck said, 'I'm g…

A Chinese family of 5, named Chu, Bu, Hu, Su and Fu decided to immigrate to the United States. In order to get a visa, they have to Americanize their names. Chu became Chuck. Bu became Buck. Hu became Huck. Su and Fu decided to stay in China

A woman's three daughters are going out on dates... "What are your date plans?", the mother asks the daughters. "I'm going out with Pete; we are going to eat" says the first daughter. "Great! have fun" says the mom "I'm going with Lance. We are going to dance" says the second daughter. "Have a ball!" says the mother "I'm going out with Chuck" says the third daughter "NO YOU'RE NOT" yells the mother