Chuck Jokes

Once there was a farmer who was very protective of his three daughters. One day, the three daughters told the farmer that they were all going on a date. So, the farmer, being the protective father he was, grabbed his shotgun and walked outside. Suddenly, a car pulled in, and a man stepped out it. He went up to the farmer and said: “Hello, my name is Freddy, I am here for Betty. We’re going for spaghetti. Is she ready?” The farmer called for Betty, the first daughter, and she came. The man and…

Phrases that most men struggle to say out loud How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. How many pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick? My mother-in-law is moving in with us.

Chuck Norris's teeth.... clean the toothbrush.

Three Chinese men named Chu, Bu and Fu moved to USA They all decided to change their names. Chu became Chuck. Bu became Buck. Fu went back to China.

Chuck Norris's password is the last 9 digits of pi. Chuck Norris can divide by 0. Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice Chuck Norris can cross a vector with a scalar Chuck Norris is so tough he can draw a circle with exactly 100 degrees. Chuck Norris is so badass he can find value of a variable in an expansion without factoring the coefficient within the expansion. Chuck Norris is so tough he can draw an isosceles triangle with four perfectly identical vertices Chuck Norris is so tough h…

There was a farmer who had three daughters All of his 3 daughters were going on their first dates that same evening. Being protective of them, he decided to meet their suitors at the front door with his gun. So the first suitor arrived and told the farmer: "Hi I'm Joe, I'm here for Flo, we're going to the show, is she ready to go?" The farmer thought this was ok, and they went on their way. The second suitor arrived and the farmer answered the door: "Hi my name's Eddy, I'm here for Betty, w…

The farmer and his daughters. There is a farmer with three, beautiful daughters. He was always wary of them dating horrible guys so he forbid them to date their entire teenage lives. But when they turned eighteen the daughters told their father he couldn’t stop them from dating anymore and the farmer, so, instead of fighting with them, he agreed, but under one condition. He wanted to meet their date, and if he decided he didn’t like him the farmer would shoot him with the shotgun he kept by …

What's your favourite Chuck Norris joke? Let's start with one of my favs: "Chuck Norris’ password is the last 9 digits of pi."

There was a farmer who had three daughters..... and all of his daughters were going on their first dates at the same time. The farmer, being protective of his daughters, decided to meet their suitors at the front door with his shot gun. Some time went by, the first suitor arrived and the farmer answered the door: "Hi I'm Joe, I'm here for Flo, we're going to the show, is she ready to go?" The farmer thought this on was ok, so he let them go. The second suitor arrived and the farmer answered…

Once there was a farmer that was very protective of his three daughters. When they told him that they were going to go out on dates one night, the farmer decided to wait outside with a shotgun. The first boy arrived for the first daughter, and he said, "Hi, my name is Freddy. I'm here for Betty. We're going for spaghetti. Is she ready?" The farmer decided he was decent enough, and let them go. The second boy arrived for the second daughter, and said, "Hi, my name is Joe. I'm here for Flo. We're…

A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates.......... A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, "I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?" No. The second beau came to the door and said, "I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?" No. The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. "Hello, my name is Chuck…

Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100... The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

Chuck Norris's Daughter Lost her Virginity... He got it back.

It's weird to me that the shortened version of Charles is ""Chuck"". I mean

How to Sell a Dead Donkey Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.

Chuck Norris jokes When Chuck Norris' code throws exceptions

Young Chuck One fine old day

It's Easter Sunday morning... ... and chubby Chuck has been chomping on Easter eggs all night. He decides that he simply can't eat one more Easter egg. So he plays a prank. He goes into the chicken coop and replaces every single egg the hens have laid with a brightly colored one. A few minutes later

A young man named Chuck bought a horse from a farmer for $250. A young man named Chuck bought a horse from a farmer for $250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day

How many nuns can a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nuns? Nun.

A farmer had three daughters... and each was going on a date one Friday night. The first daughters date showed up "Hi I'm Freddy here to pick up Betty to eat spaghetti, is she ready?" Betty left with Freddy. The second daughters date showed up "Hey I'm Joe here to pick up Flo to go to the show, is she ready to go?" Flo left with Joe. The third daughters date showed up "Hello I'm Chuck-" The farmer shot chuck.

How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a light bulb?,"None no light bulb dare go out in the presence of Chuck Norris.

How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, no light bulb dare go out in the presence of Chuck Norris.

What is Chuck Norris' only weakness? Cancer

Did you know that Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer? Too bad he never cries.