Vampire Jokes

What does Mrs Dracula say to Mr Dracula when he leaves for work in the evening? Have a nice bite!

What do vampire footballers have at half-time? Blood oranges.

What is Dracula's favorite pudding? Leeches and scream.

Which vampire ate the three bears' porridge? Ghouldilocks.

How does a vampire get through life with only one fang? He has to grin and bare it.

Did you hear about the vampire in Camelot? He was a bite of the Round Table!

Why wouldn't the vampire eat his soup? It clotted.

Why did Dracula go to the orthodontist? He wanted to improve his bite.

Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with ? The girl necks door.

What do you get if you cross a vampire and a circus entertainer ? Something that goes straight for the juggler !

Which flavor ice cream is Dracula's favorite? Vein-illa.

Two men were having a drink together. One said ""I'd rather live with a vampire than with my wife."" ""Why's that?"" asked the other. ""Because she's always trying to bite my head off"" he replied.

What's Dracula's car called? A mobile blood unit.

Why did the vampire enjoy ballroom dancing? He could really get into the vaultz.

What does a vampire stand on after taking a shower? A bat mat.

Why did Dracula miss lunch? Because he didn't fancy the stake.

What's it called when a vampire kisses you goodnight? Necking.

When he's out driving where does Dracula like to stop and eat? The Happy Biter.

Why was the young vampire a failure? Because he fainted at the sight of blood.

What do you get if you cross a vampire and a mummy ? Something you wouldn't want to unwrap !

Why did the vampire go crazy at Burger King? He saw all that catsup and wanted a transfusion.

How do you join a Vampire Fan Club? Send your name address and blood group.

What do you think of Dracula films? Fangtastic!

One vampire to the other : "" Let's go and have a drink.I know a cosy little mortuary just round the corner""!

What's a vampire's favorite hobby? In-grave-ing.