Porridge Jokes

Papa Bear: I wish he'd Mackle more. Mama Bear: I wish he'd Mackle less. Baby Bear: I tore the throat out of a girl who stole our porridge.

Baby Bear: Someone's been eating my porridge! Mama: That's wonderful, dear. Papa never eats Mama's porridge anymore. Papa: Jesus, Linda...

Any wedding can be a fairy tale wedding if you serve porridge and release three angry bears into the reception hall

How was it possible that the three bears had porridge all at different temperatures? Someone is lying.

[tv commercial] me: "know what i'd love for breakfast?" mum: "what's that son?" me: "if someone pre-chewed my food" narrator: "porridge"

I've ended up encountering much less porridge than I had expected I would as a child.

My wife and I had a real Fairytale wedding. A wolf killed her grandma during the ceremony and then we ate stolen porridge from some bears.

Here's one for the mothers out there: the three bears retold A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning.... Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty.. 'Who's been eating my porridge?' he squeaks. Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair.. He looks into his big bowl and it is also empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?!?' he roars. Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from t…

Do you have porridge for breakfast? Kevin Bacon

An elderly couple are watching TV The woman asks the man, ""Can you please get me some ice-cream?"" ""Sure"", he replies. ""Do you want to write it down? Just because you'll forget"", she says. ""I can remember a bowl of ice-cream"", the man replies. ""I also want some fruit on it. But write it down"" ""That's OK, I won't forget."" ""And some chocolate sauce. Now you'll definitely forget this!"" ""No, it's fine I won't forget. Promise."" So he goes away into the kitchen and after about 20 minute…

I dropped my phone in my porridge this morning, It took a while to sink in.

The Scots are updating the perception of traditional Scottish fare. Oatmeal porridge will now be known as a Highland Smoothie.

What do you call 10 lepers in a swimming pool? Porridge

Goldilocks and the Three Pigs Goldilocks is lost in the forest and she finds the three bears' house. She enters and is enjoying the porridge when three pigs burst into the house. ""We're looking for three beds. Can you help us?"" Goldilocks is astonished but replies, ""I think the bedrooms are upstairs."" ""Right. Sorry, wrong story.""

One day three little bears.... Went out for a picnic to let their porridge cool down. When they came back something happens. Somebody's been eating my porridge said daddy bear. Somebody's been eating my porridge said mummy bear. Screw the porridge!!! said baby bear somebody's stolen the DVD player!!!!!

What do you call it when your wife brings you rice porridge in prison? Congee-gal visit

Which vampire ate the three bears' porridge? Ghouldilocks.

Which ghost ate too much porridge? Ghouldilocks.

Father Christmas: What's your favourite Christmas story? Elf: The one about the ghost that steals porridge! Father Christmas: You mean 'Ghoul-di-locks'!

An old man sets up three beds in his room... and lays out three chairs. One day, a friend comes over and the old man serves three bowls of porridge. The friend asks "Why do you have all this random stuff in your room?" and the old man replies "Well, it worked for the 3 bears!"

What do you call an epileptic leper taking a bath? Porridge.