Here's one for the mothers out there: the three bears retold A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning.... Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty.. 'Who's been eating my porridge?' he squeaks. Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair.. He looks into his big bowl and it is also empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?!?' he roars. Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from t…

The year is 2027. Voice to text is flawless. A young child points at a bird and says, "Duck". His mother slaps him.

Papa Bear: I wish he'd Mackle more. Mama Bear: I wish he'd Mackle less. Baby Bear: I tore the throat out of a girl who stole our porridge.

Can't afford Sea World, so I took my kid to a fish market. Me: 'Shhh, they're asleep' 'Mom, they're breaded' Me: 'That's their blankie'