Tonto Jokes

The LoneRanger The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, ""Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?"" The Lone Ranger replies, ""I see millions of stars."" ""What that tell you?"" asked Tonto. The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, ""Astronomically, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells…

The Lone Ranger and Tonto... The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding in a small valley one day when the entire Sioux Nation comes up on the ridges either side of them. The Lone Ranger looks at Tonto and says, ""Looks like we are in our worst trouble yet."" Tonto looks back and says, ""What you mean 'we' white man?""

Randolph the Bow-Legged Cowboy You know George Armstrong Custer And Frank James and Zorro, Buffalo Billy, Red Ryder, and Tonto But do you recall The most famous cowboy of all? Randolph, the bow-legged cowboy Had a very shiny gun And if you ever saw it You would drop your pants and run All of the other cowboys Used to laugh and call him names They never let poor Randolph Join in any poker games Then one foggy Saturday night, The Sheriff came to say: ""Randolph, with your gun so bright, Won't you …

Two guys are in a locker room when one guy notices the other guy has a cork in his ass. Two guys are in a locker room when one guy notices the other guy has a cork in his ass. He says, ""How'd you get a cork in your ass?"" The other guy says, ""I was walking along the beach and I tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a red man in a turban came oozing out. He said, 'I am Tonto, Indian Genie. I can grant you one wish."" And I said, ""No shit.""

Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding across the plains When Tonto stops suddenly, climbs down, and puts his ear to the ground. Lone Ranger waits a few minutes, then asks Tonto, ""What is it?"" Tonto said, ""Buffalo come."" Lone Ranger asks, ""How can you tell?"" Tonto replied, ""Ear sticky.""

Management Training An Indian warrior walks into Starbucks with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter, ""Me want coffee."" The waiter says, ""Sure chief coming right up."" He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee. The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere, then just walks out. The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand pulling…

The lone ranger and Tonto ride up to a saloon... The lone ranger tells Tonto to stay outside and run around the horses in a circle to keep the air moving so the will be cool. He then goes inside and orders some whiskey. After a few minutes, a man enters and says to the people inside ""who do the two horses outside belong to"" ""They are mine"" says the lone ranger ""is there a problem"" The man says ""no problem sir, I just wanted to let you know, you left your injun running""

Lone Ranger Find Tonto laying on trail, ear to ground. ""Tonto! What you doing down there?"" ""Red stage coach, 4 horses pulling, 3 brown, one black. Two men on top driving, one gray beard, other black. People inside laugh."" ""Tonto! How can you tell all that by listening to ground?"" ""No Kimosabe. They run over me 10 minutes ago.""

The lone Ranger and Tonto are riding their horses when Tonto falls off. He lands in a ditch. The lone Ranger walks up and says ""Tonto are you ok""? Tonto puts his ear to the ground and remains quiet. The lone Ranger repeats himself and Tonto quiets him and says ""buffalo come"" the lone Ranger says "" you can tell that by listening to the ground""? Tonto says ""no, ground very sticky.

Tonto and the Lone Ranger One day Tonto and the Lone Ranger were riding the trail when Tonto signals to stop. He dismounts and puts his ear to the ground and listens. Looking up he says,""Kemosabe many buffalo come."" The Lone Ranger looks at him in amazement and says,""Tonto I've seen you do that hundreds of time and I'm still amazed. How can you tell?"" Tonto stands up and says,""Because ground is wet and sticky."" as he wipes the side of his face.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding across the prairie. Then Tonto got down from his horse and put his ear to the ground. He looked at the Lone Ranger and said, ""Buffalo come."" The Lone Ranger looked at him and said, ""Wow, that's amazing! How did you figure that out?"" Tonto looked at the Lone Ranger and said, ""Ear sticky!""

Tonto's Headache As the Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding along the trail the Lone Ranger kept noticing Tonto was wavering in the saddle. He was clinching his eyelids, rubbing at his temples and giving out low moans. The Lone Ranger asks, ""What is wrong my Faithful Indian Companion?"" ""Not know for sure, Kemo Sabe Got heap bad headache from loud music pound much in head."" Lone ponders this a moment and then responds, ""That is not a good thing my faithful friend. But if it is that much of a p…

The Lone Ranger and Tonto stop in their persuit of some crooks to check for tracks. Tonto presses his ear to the ground, sits up slowly and says thoughtfully ""Hmmmm...buffalo come"". Amazed the Lone Ranger asks ""Wow! How did you know that?!"" Tonto replies ""Ear stick to ground""

Tonto Little known fact about Tonto is he use to take white man on buffalo hunts. He was the best buffalo tracker and the white man payed him well. One day Tonto was out with a group of white men in search of Buffalo. He got off his horse, which excited the men. He checked the breeze, smelled the air, and then slowly bent down to listen to the earth. When he stood back up, in a calm voice he said, ""buffalo come"" The white man responded, ""well how do ya' know?"" To which Tonto replied, ""hm! F…

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding through the desert one day, and it just so happens that it's unnaturally hot. The Ranger and his Indian sidekick are sweating and panting, and their horses are in even worse shape. They're nearing a town where they can stop and rest, but are still miles out when Tonto's horse dies. ""Get up in Silver,"" The Lone Ranger tells his partner. ""He's a strong horse, he can get both of us there."" Tonto does and they just manage to get to the town without Silver pas…

An Indian walks into a cafe.... An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter: ""Want coffee."" The waiter says, ""Sure, Chief. Coming right up."" He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee. The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere and then just walks out. The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand,…

Some native jokes What's the difference between a native and a picnic table? A picnic table can support a family What do you call a bunch of natives in a ditch? Sleepover The Lone Ranger and Tonto ride into town, as they get off their horses the Lone Ranger says to Tonto, ""Walk the horses around to cool them off."" Then he walks into the saloon. Later on a man walks into the saloon and spots the Lone Ranger, walks up to him and says, ""Hey did you know you left your injin running?"" And here's …

Lone ranger snakebite The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding through the plains, doing heroic cowboy shit, when suddenly the Lone Ranger feels the call of nature. He dismounts and goes off behind a bush and squats. A few moments later he runs back screaming frantically pulling his pants up. ""What happened?"" asks Tonto. ""A goddamned snake bit my taint!"" Yells the ranger in agony. Tonto, seeing that his companion cannot ride his horse in his condition, makes him comfortable next to a fire and ri…

The Lone Ranger is in trouble now! The lone ranger and Tonto are riding together, when suddenly they are surrounded by a group of Apache Indians, screaming like banshees and swinging warclubs. The lone ranger takes a look at the war-painted pack of warriors howling for his blood, and yells to his faithful sidekick, ""Looks like we might have to fight them off, Tonto!"" The lone ranger looks over his shoulder to see Tonto backing his horse away slowly. ""What you mean 'we', white man?""

The Lone Ranger and his faithful American Indian sidekick Tonto are riding the plains. The Lone Ranger and his faithful native American sidekick Tonto are riding the plains. It's midwinter and bitterly cold so the heroic duo enter a saloon for a warming drink. The bartender takes one look at Tonto and shouts: ""Get him outtahere. We don' serve no Injuns!"" Faithful Tonto agrees to wait outside while the Lone Ranger has a quick drink. To keep warm he decides to run around his horse. Alas the drin…

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were hunting buffalo... The Lone Ranger and Tonto were hunting buffalo but they couldn't find the herd. Tonto got off his horse and and put his ear to the ground. The Lone Ranger asked Tonto if he knew where the buffalo were going. Tonto said, ""Buffalo come."" the Lone Ranger said ""How can you tell Tonto?"" Tonto replied, ""Sticky""

Tonto and the Lone Ranger Chased by Injuns, the lone ranger and Tonto are galloping along when suddenly, Tonto stops, jumps down off his horse, puts his ear to the ground and listens. After a bit, he sits up and says 'BUFFALO COME!' 'how can you tell?' replies the lone ranger. Tonto says 'Ear Sticky!'

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, ""Who owns the big white horse outside?"" The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt and said ""I do. Why?"" The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, ""I just thought you would like to know that your horse is just about dead outside."" The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough, Silver was about dead from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ran…

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, ""Kemo Sabe, look toward sky, what you see?"" The Lone Ranger replies, ""I see millions of stars."" ""What that tell you?"" asked Tonto. The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, ""Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that…

Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding across the plains when Tonto stops suddenly, climbs down, and puts his ear to the ground. Lone Ranger waits a few minutes, then asks Tonto, ""What is it?"" ""Buffalo come,"" Tonto replied. ""How can you tell?"" ""Ear sticky.""