Sports Jokes

why yes i studied sports medicine at the university of phoenix. *puts stethoscope on basketball, nods*

Gravity 0/5: Worst Space Jam sequel ever. Literally no basketball.

It's called "courting" a girl because you're supposed to take them to a basketball court and dunk on them repeatedly I hope

I turn into a Mexican soccer announcer when in driving in traffic GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

spot whats sandpaper like? dog: ruff whats the long grass on a golf course called? d: ruff whats the job market like? d: steadily improving

[interview at the Pringles factory] BOSS: why do you wanna work here? TENNIS BALL: {don't say to take back the tubes} uhh i love curvy chips

*ball flies past 15 love -aw thanks *ball flies past 30 love -too kind *ball flies past 40 love -you too babe Have you played tennis before?

Every time I have a salad for lunch my stomach feels the same way a dog does when someone fake throws a tennis ball.

Baseball is where a man repeatedly hurls something at a burly man armed with a bat and the most boring possible outcome happens

Flung my bra across the room and it sailed right into the drawer, if any of you are looking to start a basketball team that uses bras.

"Hi. I'm beautiful and love football and snuggling. Sucks about your broken wiener." -Viagra commercials

The only thing I know about football is that Edgar Allen Poe is the coach of the Ravens.

Apparently "What inning is it?" is not a valid Football related question. Sports are hard.

When life tosses me a football, I'm the ref who's not looking and everyone laughs when I get booped in the face

"I put on pants for nothing" - my 10 yo after she got dressed and her soccer game was cancelled. Someone set up her Twitter account.

Every time I think I've parallel parked in a space the size of a shoebox, I get out and find it's the length of two football fields

Football started as strictly butt-slapping & they built the rest of the game around that so it wouldn't look weird by itself

BASEBALL! All the excitement of football squeezed conveniently into 162 five-hour games!

Me: Do you love me? 13: Silence Husband: if you don't tell your mother you love her we are going to make out at your next soccer game.

Thank god that racist basketball guy showed up or we'd still be talking about how we're not finding that airplane.

85% of baseball's appeal is good weather and alcohol.

My son's soccer coach just said, "You can't spell "triumph" without 'try,'" and the look my son and I shared will bond us forever.

There's no crying in baseball! But there is in cryball and you're gonna make it big, kid! Are you smiling? There's no smiling in cryball!

The recent fake excitement of soccer in the U.S. confirms my belief that Americans will pretend to like anything they can scream USA about.

According to these Father's Day gift sections, all dads are clean shaven business men that love playing golf and think they're #1.