Second Son Jokes

An old man is on his deathbed... He tells the Priest that his firstborn son can have the part of the city near the castle, his second son can now have the east part of the city near the Stables, and his third son to have the northern part of the city closest to the Shops. The old man shortly passed away after and the priest tells the oldest son ""Your dad must of been a very wealthy man!"", He quickly says ""Hell no, that cheap bastard was talking about his Newspaper route!""

Two Arabs sit in the Gaza Strip, enjoying a quiet pint of goat milk. One takes out his wallet and starts flipping through the pictures. ""This is my oldest son. He's a martyr. This here is my second son. He's also a martyr!"" The second Arab nods, ""They blow up so fast, don't they?""

An assortment of GoT puns (don't worry, no spoilers) Note: I have not seen a single episode of GoT, nor have I read the books. All my knowledge is based off of what I hear in the news. Feel free to insert your ""OP knows as much as Jon Snow"" joke here. So, here goes: What should George R.R. Martin have called the Night's Watch? The Snow Patrol. Hopefully you think my jokes are sansa-tional. When I watched (major plot point), I thought ""Arya kidding me?"" I think Ned's second son would do great…

A priest and his 3 sons. A priest comes home to his 3 sons. He asks the first son ""Son, have you sinned today?"" The son says ""Yes Father I hit someone"" The priest says ""Go drink from the Holy Water."" He asks the second son if he has sinned, the second son responds ""Yes father I swore"" The priest says "" Go drink from the Holy Water."" The priest asks the final son, ""Son, have you sinned today?"" The boy says "" Yes I pissed in the Holy Water."" *If this has been posted before, sorry*

Martyr Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat's milk. The older of the two pulls a small folder out of her handbag and starts flipping through photos. They start reminiscing. ''This is my oldest son, Mujibar. He would have been 24 years old now.'' ''Yes, I remember him as a baby.'' says the other mother cheerfully. ""He's a martyr now though."" the mother confides. ""Oh, so sad, dear...'' says the other. ''And this is my second son, Khal…

I married a French girl and had three sons We named our first son Antoine. We named our second son Anteux. We named our third son Antthree.

Choose a special gift for Mother's day Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first son said: "" I built a big house for our mother"" The second son said: "" I sent Mom a Mercedes with a driver."" The third son said: "" You remember how our mother enjoys reading the Bible. Now she can't see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. The Elders at the church spent twelve …

Kids Today Two Arab mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat's milk. The older of the two pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. They start reminiscing. 'This is my oldest son, Mujibar. He would have been 24 years old now.' 'Yes, I remember him as a baby,' says the other mother cheerfully. 'He's a martyr now though,' the mother confides. 'Oh, so sad dear,' says the other. 'And this is my second son, Khalid. He would have been 21.…

"That's no excuse not to write to your mother." Paddy and Maggy Dunn send their son, Neely, from Ireland to the United States to find a job and build a dream career. Off Neely sails on a freighter, earning his way across the Atlantic as a deckhand. Upon arriving in the U.S., Neely sends his mam and pap a letter, explaining the glorious sights and sounds he beheld. As Neely searches for a job, his letters dwindle in frequency and, before long, cease altogether. Paddy 'n Maggie are concerned, n…

An Italian fella Big Lorenzo, an Italian fella, is bragging to his friends about his sons: "I'ma so prouda my oldest son. He maka fifty thousand dollar evra year. Hesa Engineer!" "I even more prouda ma second son. He maka five hundred thousand dollar a year. Hesa Doctor!" "But, I'ma da proudest a ma youngest son. He maka Five million dollar a year. Hesa Sports Mechanic!" Paolo, his friend asks: "What's a Sports Mechanic?" Lorenzo replies: "Wella, he can fixa everytin. He fixa da horseraces, he …

An old lady decides to check on his 3 son-in-laws She wanted to see who respects/cares for her the most. She goes to the lake near the eldest son-in-laws place and jumps. The son-in-law dives in and rescues her. Next day, he sees a toyota corolla parked in front of his house with a letter -- Thanks from your Mother-in-law. Then she goes to her second son-in-law places and jumps in a lake near his house. The second son-in-law also saves her. Next day he too gets a toyota corolla as a gift with…

A mother-in-law doesn't trust her sons-in-law... ...so she decides to test them. First, she goes to the oldest's house. She jumps into a well, but her son-in-law rescues her promptly. The next morning, the oldest son-in-law finds a brand new Suzuki in front of his house with a little note: "Lots of love, your mother-in-law". The next day, she goes to her second son-in-law's house. She jumps into a well once again. Her son-in-law rescues her, but only after pondering about the decision for a w…

A father puts a gold watch in one son's stocking and a pile of manure in the other son's... The first son brings the watch to his father and with a worried face says, "dad I'm not sure what to do with this watch, it's fragile, and small, and I don't really wear watches. I don't like it." The father wasn't surprised by his son's reaction because he typically has a poor perspective on things. Minutes later, the second son, who had a stocking full of manure, comes running to his father with e…

An old man is on his death bed and calls all his family and the priest. He says to his first son "I want you to have all the property in the north of the town, I have 16 houses there." He says to his second son "I want you to have all my commercial property, 8 businesses." He says to his third son "I want you to have the houses in the southern district, there are only 4, but they are expensive and lucrative." The old man passes away and the priest says "That is unbelievable, he must have…

The Best Son. Three brothers are waiting for their mother at the airport. One says I'm the best son because I got her a new car! The second one says I'm the best son because I got her a new TV!. The third one says I'm the best son because she's lonely so I got her a parrot to talk to. The mother gets off the plane and goes up to the first one and says I hate the car. Im practically blind and can't drive but now I gotta pay insurance to park it on the street. She goes to the second son and …

Retirement Home A woman moves to a retirement home. Her sons each decide to give her a nice gift as a token of their gratitude. “I will buy a Ferrari for mom,” the oldest says, “at least half a million dollars worth, so she can enjoy a nice drive.” “I'll buy her a luxurious villa with a downstairs sleep and bath room,” says the second, “that way she can live independently again.” “I am buying her a million-dollar parrot,” the third one says, “unique in its kind, one that can talk like the be…

What did the Mexican Plumber call his second son? Hose B