Retirement Home A woman moves to a retirement home. Her sons each decide to give her a nice gift as a token of their gratitude. “I will buy a Ferrari for mom,” the oldest says, “at least half a million dollars worth, so she can enjoy a nice drive.” “I'll buy her a luxurious villa with a downstairs sleep and bath room,” says the second, “that way she can live independently again.” “I am buying her a million-dollar parrot,” the third one says, “unique in its kind, one that can talk like the be…

An old man is on his deathbed... He tells the Priest that his firstborn son can have the part of the city near the castle, his second son can now have the east part of the city near the Stables, and his third son to have the northern part of the city closest to the Shops. The old man shortly passed away after and the priest tells the oldest son ""Your dad must of been a very wealthy man!"", He quickly says ""Hell no, that cheap bastard was talking about his Newspaper route!""

Martyr Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat's milk. The older of the two pulls a small folder out of her handbag and starts flipping through photos. They start reminiscing. ''This is my oldest son, Mujibar. He would have been 24 years old now.'' ''Yes, I remember him as a baby.'' says the other mother cheerfully. ""He's a martyr now though."" the mother confides. ""Oh, so sad, dear...'' says the other. ''And this is my second son, Khal…

Kids Today Two Arab mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat's milk. The older of the two pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. They start reminiscing. 'This is my oldest son, Mujibar. He would have been 24 years old now.' 'Yes, I remember him as a baby,' says the other mother cheerfully. 'He's a martyr now though,' the mother confides. 'Oh, so sad dear,' says the other. 'And this is my second son, Khalid. He would have been 21.…