Ken Jokes

Husbands, dreams, and dragons Three ladies are sitting around, discussing their husbands. The first lady says, ""I once dreamt that I married a dragon. The very next day, I met Glen. I knew he was the one when I saw that he had three dragons tattooed on his arm."" The second responds, ""That's funny! I had a dream just like that and the next day, I met George. He turned out to have two dragons on his chest!"" The third pipes up, ""My dream was a little different and I decided to marry Ken when I…

Why has barbie never gotten pregnant? Because Ken came in another box ;)

So this happened Several days ago as I left a meeting at our church, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat-down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized that I must have left them in the car. Frantically. I headed for the parking lot. My wife, Diane, has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. Her theory is that the car …

A little girl sits down on Santa's lap and ask for... She ask for a Barbie doll and a GI Joe. ""Mmm,"" said Santa, ""I thought barbie came with Ken."" ""No,"" replies the girl. ""Barbie fakes it with Ken, she loves GI joe.""

Ken walks into a bar... ..bie doll.

Ken and Josh, two good friends, are hiking up a mountain Ken needs to take a piss, so he goes over to do his business. A snake slithers over and bites him on his manhood. Ken screams in pain and Josh runs down to the base camp to tell the medic. The medic explains that this type of snake has deadly venom and the only way Ken will survive is if Josh sucks the venom out. Josh runs back up to where Ken is writhing in pain. ""What did the medic say?"" Ken asks. Josh replies, ""He says you're gonna d…

Why is Barbie's boyfriend afraid of commitment? He's a chic Ken.

Mall Santa A Mall Santa is asking kids what they want for Christmas. A little girl says, ""I want a Barbie and a G.I. Joe."" Santa replies, ""Doesn't Barbie come with Ken?"" ""No silly. Barbie comes with G.I. Joe. She's only faking it with Ken.""

in response to a deleted post: How do you apologise when you're wrong? [knock knock joke] Me: knock knock (assuming they're still speaking to me and know what to say next) Them: Who's there? Me: Kenya Fork Them: ...Kenya Fork who? Me: Ken ya forg-ive me?! I'm sorry (Works well to distract them from the fact that you were wrong about something by the lameness of the joke!)

Barbie and G.I. Joe. [NSFW] A little girl sits on Santa's lap. In a jolly manner, Santa asks ""What would you like for Christmas?"" The girl replies without hesitation:""I would like a Barbie and a G.I. Joe."" Santa sits for a moment, thinking about the request. Caught off guard, he says ""But little girl, Barbie comes with Ken."" The girl looks at Santa and with incredible confidence, states: ""No Santa, Barbie only fakes it with Ken.""

Barbie comes with GI Joe She only fakes it with Ken. Saw plenty of pregnant Barbie jokes in this sub-reddit, but not this one.

There was a chicken farmer who lived in a village in China. One year,his chickens were afflicted with a strange blight that caused them to lose their feathers. The farmer was deeply concerned about this, because winter was coming, and, if the chickens had no feathers, they would freeze to death. So, the farmer decided to consult the two wisest men in the land. First,he visited Mr. Hing, the renowned scholar. Mr. Hing leafed through all his agricultural and medicinal texts and pored over books an…

Introducing the new, improved MID-LIFE BARBIE: Now, at long last, here are some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide with her and OUR aging gracefully. These are a bit more realistic. 1. BIFOCALS BARBIE: Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too), neck chain and large print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living. 2. HOT FLASH BARBIE: Press Barbie's belly button and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. C…

The Englishman's Irishman's and Scotsman's wives go shopping one day to a big department store. While they are there a fire breaks out. Everyone in the store is killed including the three women. Their husbands are summoned to the local police station where a policewoman breaks the news to them: ""I'm afraid sirs that we believe your wives were killed in the fire at the department store. However the fire was so intense we cannot identify the bodies. Only their handbags survived the blaze. Can y…

The Chocolate Bar by Ken I Havesum

Why didn't Barbie get pregnant? Because Ken 'came' in another box!

My Favorite Christmas Joke. Little girl sits on Santa’s lap. Santa: What would you like for Christmas? Little Girl: I want a Barbie and a G.I.Joe. Santa: Little girl don’t you know Barbie comes with Ken? Little Girl: No Santa, Barbie fakes it with Ken, she cums with G.I.Joe.

A little girl sits on Santa's lap and asks him for a Barbie and a GI Joe. "Well little girl, you can certainly have that, but doesn't Barbie usually come with Ken?" "Oh no, Santa, Barbie fakes it with Ken, she comes with GI Joe."

Christmas gift A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks, "What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?" The little girl replies, "I want a Barbie and a G.I. Joe." Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, "I thought Barbie comes with Ken." "No," said the little girl. "She comes with G.I. Joe; she fakes it with Ken."

An American, an Frenchman, an Israeli, a Spaniard, and a German go to see a seminar They show up late, and can only find seats in the back row. When the presenter notices them come in and take seats in the very back, he shouts to them, "Can you guys see me back there?" They answered back in order, "Yes" "Oui" "Ken" "Si" "Ja"

(Since bad pickup lines seem to be the trend right now) Do you want to play barbies? I'll be Ken, and you be the box he came in

Knock knock... Who's there? Ken. Ken who? Ken I come in? (My 3 year old told me this one.)

I hate when people talk about their kids age in weeks and months. "Jessica said her first word at 36 weeks!" You mean 9 months. "Ken is 24 months!" Deborah, he's 2. "My baby is -26 weeks old!" No, Karen, you miscarried.

Two ninjas are training in a field. One ninja says "I'll bet you can't hit that that target with your throwing star." The other ninja says "Shur-I-ken."

Studies show that 1 in 3 people are serial killers I had to shoot Ken and James. What if one of them is a serial killer?