Iran Jokes

Food and Country Yesterday I was so Hungary, I decided to Czech if there was any food. I was Russian to the fridge, but found only a Turkey full of Greece. Iran to the store to get some salt, pepper, Chile and Korea-nder, because I was in the mood for some Sweden sour. I found Iraq of pork chops but there was Norway I could eat them all. The Romanian ingredients where some Belize pepper and a Canada best soup I could ever find. Can you Bolivia it? I Cyprus the urge of buying some Fiji Water. I H…

Why is Iran called Iran? Because when I saw the bombs, I*ran*

Typos change everything Mollahs wanted to bring the scientific method to Iran, but then someone in the process mistyped ""trial and error"" into ""rial and terror""

How Jews cry wolf What happens if an insect falls in a cup of coffee ?! tHe britiSH : will thrOw the Cup into the strEEt and leave the coffee shOp foR good. thE amERican : will get the inSEct out and drink the coffEE. The chiINse : will eAT the inseCT and drink the coffee. the isRAeli will : (1) Sell the coffee to the aMErican and the insect to the Chinese. (2) Cry on all the media chaNNels that they feel inSecuRe. (3) Accuse the PalestiNians, hizbaLLah, syrIA and iRAn of using gERm-weapOns. (4)…

Yesterday, Iran asked the U.S. for an extension on disabling their nuclear program. When asked how much time they needed, they said, ""10, 9, 8...""

Last summer holiday I went to Iraq for vacation..... I was so scared Iran

Iraq has just ordered two thousand septic tanks from Russia. As soon as the Iraqis learn to drive them they are going to invade Iran.

Seems the Shah of Iran was visiting Disneyland with his young son. The son seemed to be having a good time but had that look that something else was on his mind. The Shah asked ""What do you really want Son?"" The Son said ""A Mickey Mouse Outfit."" With that the Shaw went out and bought him a uniform from the neighboring Fire Department.

A big earthquake hits the Middle East... A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hit the Middle East. Two million Muslims died and over a million were injured. Iraq and Iran are totally ruined and the governments don’t know where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock. The USA is sending troops to help. Saudi Arabia is sending oil. Latin American countries are sending Supplies. New Zealand is sending sheep, cattle and food crops. The A…

An American, Mexican, and Arab are in a plane... They fly over America and the American drops a ball out of the plane. The others ask why and he replies, "This will make someone in my country very happy and I love my country." They fly over Mexico and the the Mexican drops a flower out of the plane. The others ask why and he replies, "I love my country and wish to make it more beautiful." When they fly over Iran, the Arab drops a bomb out of the plane. Seeing the shocked looks on the other's …

The Geography of a man and women THE GEOGRAPHY OF WOMAN AND MEN The Geography of a Woman Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa . Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful! Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value. Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable plac…

How did I get from Afghanistan to Iraq? Iran.

Apparently France wanted to change their name after WWII. Unfortunately the name Iran was already taken.

A Canadian farmer, a Muslim fanatic, and a white trash biker... Three men - a Canadian farmer, a Muslim fanatic and a White Trash Biker are all walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. 'I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total', says the Genie. The Canadian says, 'I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada’ POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fe…

The Aussie Farmer, Osama Bin Laden And A Biker Three men - a Farmer, Osama bin Laden and a Biker are all walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. 'I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total', says the Genie. The Farmer says, 'I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want my land to be forever fertile' POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land was forever fertile for farming. Osama was amazed, so he said, 'I want a wall…

After Usain Bolt retires, he'll move to Iran.

The Nun A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please may I hide under your skirt? I will explain later." The nun agreed. A moment later Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier run by here?" The nun replied, "Nope, not today sir, god bless you" After the Police ran the other direction the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough Sister, you see, I don't want to go to war in Iran." The nun said, "I understand complet…

In Iran, everyone's scared of spiders.. But in Iraq, no phobia.

Roses are red, violets are blue... Let's dispel once and for all with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn't know what he's doing. He knows EXACTLY what he's doing. Barack Obama is undertaking a systematic effort to change this country, to make America more like the rest of the world. That's why he passed Obamacare and the stimulus and Dodd-Frank and the deal with Iran. It is a systematic effort to change America. When I'm president of the United States, we are going to re-embrace all the…

3 Brits are on holiday in Iran, smoking weed while sitting on a bench: One is goth girl, the second is a very progressive man with a rainbow t-shirt, the 3rd is a business man in suit and tie. A police officer comes over, and instantly arrrests the business man, taking him into his car. He then starts to drive off. "Why did you arrest me?" Asks the business man "Well, weed is haram, and very much illegal here in the islamic republic of iran" said the officer "What about the others? They we…

Why is the unemployment rate increasing in Iran? Because of all of the women quitting their 'Jabs

What do you call a gay couple in Iran? Partners in crime

How did I escape from the Middle East? Iran.

Why did the gay man want to go to Iran? He heard all the gays were hung .

Have I ever told you guys about how I escaped from the Middle East? Iran.