Canada Jokes

What type of pasta is no longer used in Canada? Penny ...

How do you kill a one-legged fox? Make it run across Canada

What's the most prominent religion in Canada? Jemima's Witnesses.

Did you know Canada was initially spelled Cnd? But when they pronounced it, the word came out "C-eh" "N-eh" "D-eh"

When in Canada, what is Bruce Lee's favorite vegetable? Carrot-eh

Why did Trump run in Us instead of Canada? Because He's worried that he would win with a minority government.

How do you kill a fox? Give him a fake leg and make him run across Canada.

What's the most common disease in Canada? Hepatitis Eh.

Do you know how much of Canada above Edmonton is livable? Nunavut.

Why is moving to Canada always plan B? Canada deserves to be plan eh.

What's the name of the elite hacking group from Canada? Anonymoose

What is bordering stupidity? Canada and Mexico both are.

What would Mario's name be if he was born in Canada? Sorry-o And his brother: Luig-eh?

How will Donald Trump create 25 millions jobs? By having 25 million people move to Canada.

What borders stupidity? Canada and Mexico.

A Scotsman went on his first vacation to Canada. One evening he downed a few whiskies in a local bar and, just as he was about to leave, he noticed a huge stuffed animal head with antlers attached to the wall. "What the hell is that?" he asked. "It'a moose," replied the bartender. "Bugger me!" said the Scotsman. "How big are the cats around here?"

Ramona, a Mexican housemaid at a Californian mansion, announced to the lady of the house, Mrs Spicer, that she was quitting. "But why are you leaving, Ramona?" asked Mrs Spicer. "I am in the family way," replied Ramona. Mrs Spicer was shocked. "Who was it?" "Your husband and your son." Mrs Spicer was mortified and demanded an explanation. "How did it happen?" "Well," said Ramona, "I go to the study to clean it and your husband say, 'You are in the way.' I go to the living room to clean and your …

Why did the Canadian cross the road? To get to the middle. Look at the Canadian flag. It's not a symbol of power, it's a leaf. Oh, don't screw with Canada, it'll dry up and blow away. Jeremy Hotz

An Englishman, a Canadian and an American were captured by terrorists. The terrorist leader said: "Before we shoot you, you will be allowed last words. Tell me what you would like to talk about." The Englishman said: "I want to talk about loyalty and service to the crown." The Canadian said: "Since you are involved in a question of national purpose, national identity and secession, I wish to talk about the history of constitutional process in Canada, special status, distinct society and uniquene…

A Polish man married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada a year or so, and although his English was far from perfect, the couple got on very well. One day, though, he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked if he could arrange a divorce for him, “Very quick”! The lawyer explained that the speed of getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked these questions: LAWYER: “Have you any grounds?” POLE: An acre and half, and a nice 3 bedroom house. LAWYER: “No, I mean what is t…

A blonde travels to Canada to seek her fortune as a lumberjack. She meets a foreman of a logging organization who offers to give her a job. "Now, I hope you realize we expect you to cut down at least 100 trees a day," the foreman told her. The blonde woman didn't see this as a problem, so she went out with the Chainsaw and did her best. She came back drenched in sweat. "Geez lady, how many trees did you cut down?" asked the foreman. "6" she replied. "What!? You have to do better than that. Get u…